Whaaaaat....

Yes Peri.  Twas I with my bunny on a leash!

Also......  Le boyfriend just asked me to live with him......  Whoa. I'm excited but cautiously so. Ridiculously happy he wants to. I've dropped hints about getting a roommate to cut costs but I didn't think he liked me this much. :D I think we might go look at a house on Friday. Whoa. Just whoa.

So fricken busy all the time!!!

Well I'm a huge jerk and haven't commented on anything like I said I would.

Peri - I love the idea of putting the two of them in a cage!!!! GENIUS

Also, sorry I haven't written in forever. Here's a quick up to date:

I currently weigh 205 pounds. I am down 13 pounds since I started Ideal Protein at the end of May. I'm phasing back into "normal" eating right now because I have a busy summer coming up. (I'll get to that in a bit). And Ideal protein is FUCKING EXPENSIVE. I can't afford $90 a week plus meat and veggies. Not without any sub teacher wages. I'm so hard up, half my ginormous tax refund is gone.

So I went for a run on Thursday. I am going to do couch to 5k again this summer. I didn't quit early, but running sucked a little. Wanted to go for a run on the weekend but it absolutely poured rain.I'd also like to get into a good gym routine, like actually lifting and shit. If anybody has any suggestions, lemme know.

Last weekend was the first ball tournament of the summer! I didn't drink. It was my 3rd weekend not drinking. It hadn't bothered me until that weekend. I really wanted a beer lol. I wanted to get tipsy and silly with Mike :) He's still a super sweet heart. Putting his arm around me when we're at his friends house, kissing me in public, especially when he's had a couple beer in him.

This weekend was great! We made so many plans :) In July he's going to a wedding in Calgary. I'm going with him! We planned a little bit of that trip this weekend. He came with me to the dodge dealership to help me look at cars. I'm trying to trade my lease in before the Calgary trip!! There's an autopac claim on it right now though, since someone hit my vehicle :( But that'll get all fixed up and I won't have to worry about it. The car that he helped me pick out... is the same colour as his new truck. Lame! lol.  What else? Ummmmm, we started talking about the wedding he's coming with me to in August. We're going to camp to save money! What an adventure that will be! My birthday is coming up! Aaaaaand I'm planning to get my nipples pierced :D Mike might pay for it for my birthday, though I told him $120 is a pretty steep birthday present.

He's getting so much better at asking me to do things. We went to our ball game suuuuuuuuuuuuper early on Friday and he was all "wanna go to the drive in?" which is extra sweet because he hates the drive in here. The sun sets so late that they have to start it when it's not quite dark out. And he also suggested we go camping! Which I mentioned a couple of times, but didn't think it would happen. He was all "We should go camping on an island. It'll probably just be us". Awwwww. boating out to an island to camp for a couple of days. Romantic :D

This weekend was great. There was the drive in on Friday after our ball game (which we won! Our first win of the season. 22-3). Saturday we had a BBQ to go to. Went there. Stopped at his friends place across the street. When we came back to the BBQ, which had progressed into a party.... fucking Clayton was there!!!!! Like what the hell. I was walking behind Mike up the driveway, and he said hello to him first, then said hi to me, and did a double take looking at Mike after he saw me. Hahahahhhaah. Clayton's a skinny fucker. Mike works out. We walked into the party, and Mike very calmly asked me, as we continued to walk nonchalantly through the crowd, if we should head home. I agreed. It's not him being there that bothered me, it's the fact that I was a little bit stoned, and if he was there, that meant there was probably coke somewhere. And I didn't feel like being at that kind of party. We went to the gas station by my place for munchies (for Mike. I'm still being good even though I'm phasing out) then went home and cuddled and just talked for like an hour :) I love our late night, weekend pillow talk.

This evening I took Daisy for a walk. hahahahah. It was the worst pet walk ever. She just hopped around the car a few times, then decided to hide under it. I took pictures but my phone is being retarded and won't let me publish them on here. 

Oh, and here's a pic of me on Friday evening. It showcases how my face is slimming out a bit. I no longer have a muffin top in ANY of my jeans, aaaand the green jacket I'm wearing in this picture does up around my hips, and when I got it, I had to hike it up a bit. This morning when Mike and I went for breakfast, I asked him if I looked alright, and he said "you look great". :D Ok, enough boy gushing.

Night Night.
Nessa

Hair down, ew. I swear I was rocking the cute messy bun though.

Period..... What's that?

Haven't legit had a period in about 6 months.....  Now I have one.  Boo. But explains how bitchy I was to Mike on the weekend..... 

I'm down 9 pounds overall. (209.3 this morning)  And that includes period weight. I definitely have some major bloat going on. But very little cramping which is good I guess. I keep forgetting I have my period lol. Fuck yeah depo. You're the shit!

I wore my blue scrub pants to work at the clinic today. The last few times I wore them, they were so tight in the legs that I couldn't pull them up all the way and they made my legs chafe.  today they were still snug in the leg, but no chafing! Hooray! My podgey belly is still podgey but some of  that is from having my period.  My waist is back down to 34.5 inches as opposed to the 36 I let it get back up to. Progress!

Had a ball game last night. I ran. Hard. And hustled in and out of field. I even volunteered to run for someone who was injured. I didn't get to because I had to bat again.

Sorry I've been so silent.  Planning trout festival has taken over most of my life, and the part I have left is divided up between ball games, Mike and my Kindermusik course. Oh my god. My Kindermusik course! By the end I'm going to be a business owner. Oh fuck. That's scary. And way too grown up for me...... 2.5 weeks until the festival. My friend Kevin and I had a practice today because I'm singing on Canada Day. And boy am I nervous!!! I'm going to try to get someone to record me singing so I can share that with you.

Nothing much else to say. Oh. I'm trying to break my daily weigh in habit. It's so hard. I know it fluctuates up and down and I'm ok with that. What I'm really afraid of is that if I don't get on the scale for a couple days I will "lose control" and the next time I step on it, I'll be like 300 pounds. I'd rather deal with the ups and downs than the anxiety of not knowing.  You know what I mean? I know it's not healthy.... But I don't know that I care all that much.

Busy week ahead.  Tomorrow is the wine tasting (I'm planning to actually use the spit bucket, or just take really tiny sips). Thursday night is date night! Mike and I are cooking together ^_^ he's in charge of steak grilling and I'll do the sides. I figured it's easier than trying to figure out what I can eat in a restaurant. And a little bit romantic too. I've never cooked for him per say. I've always just brought over finished products. I'm planning to bake a squash (I gave him one when I purged my kitchen of no no foods and he doesn't know what to do with it)  for him and some other roasted veggies that I can indulge in. And of course a salad. I need to find a Badass salad dressing recipe that is ideal protein friendly. Friday to Sunday is a ball tournament! Sooooo busy lol.

I will do a big round of commenting again. Probably on Thursday since I don't work that day (though I do have a meeting with my tax guy and hopefully my ideal protein coach)  so we'll see.  Sorry I'm not being a very good blog buddy right now :-( I'm trying but I might just keep being shitty at it until after trout festival is done. Arg

Oooooh. I finally asked Mike if he rsvp'd a plus one to the wedding he was invited to in Calgary.  He said he'd have to figure it out. Lol. So he probably didn't and now has to ask the groom if it's ok. I'm trying to brace myself for a possible no so that I don't get all moody and broody if it does happen. But I don't think it's completely avoidable. Fingers are crossed. That would be 2 weddings for us in 1 summer.  Eeek! I haven't been to a wedding with a boyfriend since my Aunty Gwen got married 5 years ago and that was with Greg. Billy and I didn't go to one. We were invited but by the time it came around he was already gone. I went with Tim and Hollee and was that awkward single guest that everyone has a hard time seating. I didn't stay for the meal or cake though. This summer will be different. :-D

Ok. I'm going to bed for realises now.
Love you all
Xoxo
Nessa

Thursday Plateau

You called it Peri. I've hit a little plateau at 211 (been there for 3 or 4 days now). But I'm ok with it.  It's much better than hanging out at 218.

Met with my coach today. Weighed in. She was pleased with my progress even if I wasn’t.

Down 6 pounds. Lost an inch off my boobs and half an inch off my thighs. The biggest change has been in my podge which we hadn't measured. How do you measure that anyway? And a little bit in my face and my calves. We’ll see how this goes with my restricted item (higher carb content)  moved to earlier in the day.

Had another ball game last night.  The end was bittersweet.  Usually Mike drives me, but he had a kinsman meeting so he came late.  He came to say goodbye to me at my car because he's going on his fishing trip with the guys.Ugh. I was definitely pouty. Like literally my bottom lip was sticking out a little bit. I kissed him and told him to have fun, but he didn't walk away. He stayed and talked and flirted and hugged me. Why am I pouting? A) I'm not that kind of girl. and B) He's literally gone for like 4 days. Like chill the fuck out Vanessa. Ugh. Anyway, he said he had to go home and do laundry and pack still, so I went for a cruise to clear my mind. Is it pathetic that I'm going to miss him a little? I don't know what waking up on Saturday and Sunday morning alone feels like anymore. . . . Uuuuuuuuugh. It's not like I don't have plans. I do. Friday night the Kinsmen have invited the Kinettes to join them in some fun after their "Crab night". Saturday I'm judging the "Battle of the Bands" competition, and Hollee and I are going to the Drive in Theatre. Sometime in there I'm going to put away all my laundry and clean my kitchen. My kitchen has gone to shit since Tuesday. I figured I probably won't see Mike at my place until after he comes back from his fishing trip, so why do dishes? Especially when I have other things to do... like nap. I did a lot of that this week. Oi Vey. So now I incur the consequences. Ah well. This is 4 days for me to continue shrinking my podge and gaining some confidence back, although, when he's around I always feel sexy and attractive, especially when I'm naked lol. I feel like I'm a toned, gorgeous woman, who has no body issues whatsoever.

Alright. I'm going to try to get to sleep at a decent hour tonight. One more day of work this week, then it's the weekend. Whoooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... boo. lol.

Love you all

XOXO Nessa

So much energy

211.9 this morning.  It's ok.  I'm ok.  I feel good and the water bloat I had on my face is settled down a bit!

Had a ball game tonight. I had so much energy!  I ran for the ball and hustled into the out field! And back in.  Boo yah.  And I almost caught a tipped ball playing back catcher.  Go me.  Made a run too.  Second one this season and I gave er around the bases. My new shoes are spkendiferous!

After our game, Mike and I got ice cream.  Well he got ice cream.  I got a club soda and had my ideal protein salt and vinegar "chips".  Mmmmm.  We sat in a park and had our snacks on a kind of mini date.  Awww. Cute.  That's good because he's leaving on Thursday on a fishing trip for 4 days so no date nights for me.  Ah well.  It'll make him miss me.   ^_^

Tomorrow I'm not scheduled to work anywhere.  *sigh* Hopefully I'll get a call to sub. But part of me hopes not.  I'd like a day to be lazy and do some house work. 

G'night ladies.
Xo Nessa

Sunday and the birds are chirping!

Soooo I decided to add other photos of my life and stuff to my tumblr.There's a little text box on the right, above my profile picture. It has the site. but it's http://nessa-human.tumblr.com/ in case you were curious. Also.... you can't click the link on my page.... because I've forgotten how to do that.

Alright. 211.0 this morning. Not happy. Could have been better. I know where I mucked up. Firstly.... There were NO pickles at the drive in :( Mike got a couple of pickled eggs, and I had 2 bites. Those were probably not the best idea since I'd saved a cup of veggies from supper to eat a pickle, and eggs are not veggies. I also had a 0 calorie energy drink (not horrible, but should have picked up some perrier instead). To be fair, I was looking for club soda or fizzy water of any kind at the convenience store we stopped at, but this was as good as it got. I also had 6 pieces of popcorn. Gah. NO CORN. He tried to buy me ice cream while we were in the concession shack too. Grrrr. Boys. But I appreciate the effort.

So Mike got 2 call outs this morning (YEAAAAAAH MONEY! I'm excited like we share money, which we definitely do not.....). One at like 6am, he went and literally flipped a switch and got paid for 3 hours work. He came back to my place after that one and we "cuddled" and went back to sleep. Then he got called again at like 11am. He knew exactly what it would be too. Again, he was there for like 5 minutes, and got paid for 3 hours. Frig. I need a better job lol. He went and started his day after that one. So far I've been working on my Tumblr avoiding doing my homework for my Kindermusik class. I hate online classes.

Soooo here are some HORRIBLE pictures of me from beer pong. Ugh. I am so depressed these exist. Starting with the least flattering. But at least things are changing. *sigh* I just want to cut all my fat off my body. But this is me being honest. I look disgusting in candid photos. :( In my defence (there should be no defence for being fat, but I whatever) we had a ball game right before that, so I couldn't put on any contouring makeup or anything. So it's just me and my sweaty ponytail and no makeup.

Fuck. Me. I'm gross.

Oh look. A Hippo.

 

Did not realize I'd gotten so wide!!! That's me in the middle in the process of losing at beer pong

I look less disgusting here. But I'm still fucking huge! I don't know how Tim's camera takes such horrible pictures of me. And there's my adorable boyfriend just chilling out to the left.

This one is my fave from the night. The facial expressions are gold. And Mike photo bombed HARD lol. Also, I don't look like a whale for once.

The next photos are from the next night at a friend's birthday party. The girl with the dark hair (and the spot on her forehead) is Mike's cousin. She ran around telling people I was going to be her cousin-in-law someday... no pressure lol.

Sara and I

Sheila (girl Clayton was with at that sketchy cabin party..... Read about that here) and Sara and I. Cell phones take much more flattering photos of me, clearly.
WARNING. If you click on that link and watch the vlog... you will hate Mike a little. The point is that Sheila is the dumb girl I mention 7 minutes into the vlog.

UGH. How could I deny it so badly?! I let myself get to the size of a blimp and didn't even try. Well I tried, but if by tried I mean binged every night, then yeah, I tried........ Like the scale went up 20, almost 30 pounds from last summer, and I couldn't see it. That's it. NO MORE. Once I get down below 170, I'm never getting above it again.

Ok. Now I'm going to eat some space food, and do some homework. :( I hate myself today. Which is odd, because in bed, with Mike, I feel so ridiculously attractive. Gotta learn to love myself I guess.

Peace out ladies.
Nessa

Down again !

Down to 212.8 on this fine Friday morning. This plan must be working because i can't remember the last time i saw the number go down for more than 2 days in a row. I didn't expect a loss this morning because i had an extra snack pack. But Hooray for the 1 pound loss anyway! I'll take it!

No more "cheating" like that unless i am really starving. I could have had a glass of water and been fine last night but i wanted chocolate and there was a chocolate protein bar sitting in my bin of food. I started a tumblr taking pictures of some of my ideal protein food. It's really not that exciting since I haven't started trying different recipes. I'm pretty much just re-constituting the food packs au naturel. Mike texted me after work on Friday. There was cake for Aunty Tracy's
birthday. Didn't have any cake! Just a cup of black coffee. Had a ball
game after that. Good thing I brought my snack with me, because we ended
up going and sitting on Joe's deck after. Him and Mike and Layton had
some beer. Joe's wife bakes and decorates cakes. They all had a sample
of a new recipe she was trying. I did not! (small victories people,
celebrating the small victories). The northern lights were phenomenal
last night. Like every couple minutes appearing in a different place in
the sky and just dancing like crazy. Mike pulled my chair over next to
him all cutesy like, pointing up at the sky. And me resting my head on
his shoulder. We left there at around 1am because I was cold, and Mike wanted to .... "cuddle" hahah.

211.7 on Saturday morning!!!!! FUCK YES. So I'm down about 6.3 pounds! FUCK YES. Ok. I'm not quite excited yet, because I still hate my body. But the little podge on my tummy is getting a little less pronounced. Mike got called to work at 10:30 or something. It was crappy to see him go, since we were having such a nice sleep together, but it's good for his bank account. And truth be told, I couldn't wait to weigh myself when he left.

Tonight we're going to the drive in theatre. "The Croods" is playing. Yup, it's a kids movie. But we're going :) I'm going to bring an Ideal Protein snack with me, and get a giant pickle, which is kiiiiiiind of a cheat (it counts as extra veggies) but I'll just cut out 1 cup of veggies from supper.... and eat the whole 8oz of meat I'm supposed to (read below).

OMG I just realized I've been doing this diet *slightly* wrong the whole time!!! No wonder I've been feeling so full. I've been having a pack with my dinner.... and you're not supposed to. Hahahah..... still losing a pound a day. Guess we'll see what happens when I cut that out. Also... I remembered 3-5oz of meat. It's actually 5-8oz. So there have been a couple of days where I skimped on the meat a bit. Ah well. I made up for it with the extra protein pack. hhahahahah. FML. It's ok. I'll just start doing it the right way now! Maybe I'll lose more than a pound a day now? Haha. Fingers crossed.

On another food related note - Walden Farms is a company that makes 0 calorie, 0carb, 0sugar condiments. I'm putting a review of all the ones I've purchased up on my new tumblr. You can find me by my username: nessa-human or my email address: wordsfromanaspiringhuman@gmail.com! I'm tracking some of my Ideal Protein meals on there, in case you're wondering what the food is like or you want to see how much food I actually get to eat.

Alright. Enough computer time for me. I haven't done anything I'm supposed to do chore wise today. So I leave you, with a picture of my brand new running shoes.

Love you all
XOXO Nessa.