Booo for cookies

I'm pretty sure I've just fucked shit up hardcore... oh wait... I could take some ex-lax. That would make this a little better. ....
I baked cookies for our Movie Night fundraiser on Saturday... and I ate a million of them. Ughhhhhhhhhhh. Everytime I pat myself on the back for not binging.... I end up doing it. That's it. Tomorrow is plain oatmeal for brekkers and nothing for lunch until I've hauled my lard ass to the gym. (pronounced gime, like dime but with a "guh" sound). How many squares do I need? 4? Yeah, that'll do nicely.

Let's pretend from now on that the horrid "B" word does not exist...alright? Good, I'm glad we had this conversation.

DO NOT STOP UNTIL I  LOOK LIKE THIS. Please and thanks. 

Progress updated! (FUCK YEAH)

I told you I would take a picture with me wearing makeup. I didn't get a pic of me all dolled up because I was running late. :P

I've also made a new vlog! Here it is: (sorry it's a little long)

I shall talk to you ladies laterz!! Keep the fight alive!~!

XOXO

Nessa

Time to wear bright colours

And look pretty

Beating the slump

How to beat that stupid weight you just can't get past...... Eat very little, then binge drink on a Friday night, and dance dance dance dance dance! (wearing flats makes this so much easier)

189.2 this morning. Hopefully this will stick around for the next few days (or be lower) so I'll know I've finally mounted the 190's hump (tee hee).

Vlog comin' at cha laterz. Just on my way out the door to moot. :) XXOXOXO
Nessa

Weekend

It's Saturday... My tummy aches from the 1 tofu-erky sausage I had with dinner. Seriously, almost threw up. Cuz that would have been just awful. :P

I just did a little shopping on etsy.... and I bought that black dress with the gold boobies! I'm kind of excited but kind of not. I have to lose 3 inches from my breasts for it to fit well. *sigh*

This is NOT a picture of me

I also bought these two items from a different shop:

I think I would look cute teaching in this and it was only $20 and is made from linen :)

This shirt is from the 70s and it was only $22 ... I couldn't just leave it there just when I'm starting to convert to wearing vintage clothing...

Alright, many of you may have noticed that my vlog did not get uploaded... because Youtube is a DOUCHE BAG and like an hour and a half into the process decided to tell me that my video was too long.. ugh. I recorded a vlog straight onto youtube and I'm hoping it will load. In hopes of not giving you double information, I'm not going to tell you about any exciting job prospects.... you'll just have to watch me babble for 9 minutes <3   I really appreciate everyone who watches! Youtube tells me that my other vlog video was viewed 22 times. Wicked cool! Anywho, Vlog #2 here you go! 

Happy Spring! (which has finally decided to arrive here!)

This

-NOT-

This.... Been there, done that. Fat is so 2010 don't you think?

Shopping for Grad dresses

Ugh, period is giving me hell. Why the fuck do I gain like 5-7 pounds EVERY time? Ugh. Anyway, onto more exciting things.

I was hoping to find or make something like this:

or this

Where the ruffles stand away from the chest. I feel like it would cover my Giant Boobs (capitalized because they deserve to be a proper noun) and allow my curves to stand on their own.

I've been shopping on etsy trying to find a dress for grad and these are the options I've found: Obviously they will not make me skinny :P

This one would showcase my boobs OH so nicely! But I'm not sure about the full length.

I REALLY like the orange of this, but I think the swingy layer might make me look preggers. Damn you Giant Boobs.

Ooooo a bubble hem. Hmm, possibly the same problem with the Giant Boobs making the drape hang like I'm preggo, which I am definitely NOT.

And this one is my FAVE! 

Look!!! It's the stiff ruffles across the boobs! My boobs will sit in the gold ruffles. ... and be covered in gold! Just what GB has always deserved and never gotten. :D It is long but it has a nice long slit up the left leg. 

What do you ladies think? I'd really appreciate your feedback! 

By the way, Sunday's blog is busy uploading to YouTube... taking forever but it's getting there. :D

XOXO Nessa

Did I break the 190's curse?

I'm not going to say I'm safely out of the 190's just yet... but I woke up at 189.4..... surely that is a GOOD SIGN!

Last night went for dinner with my Dad which doesn't happen very often because he lives 3 hours away. This weekend is full of food. Ugh. Tonight is "date night" and we're going out for Indian food, because we got a gift certificate for Christmas... Saturday is a family "potluck". Nothing pressing for Sunday. Bleh. I'm hoping I won't eat too much tonight... and tomorrow I know will be fine. Greg's parents are used to me not eating a whole lot. :D They're also used to me being a little smaller every time they see me. I feel bad disappointing. I mean his mom will probably still say "Look at you! You look awesome!" but by this point I don't actually know if I look better than the last time they saw me.

I'm going to take sooooooooooo many laxies tonight... well maybe just a couple to move things along. School is going great! I can't wait until Greg is out of the house again to make a vlog. (I would now but I'm cutting it preeetty close).

Vlog for real this time

So most of the information in this vlog is outdated because I recorded it 2 days ago. Thanks to Dylphe and Tai I figured out that I need to upload it to youtube first, so that's how this will work I suppose. I still need a better program. The "Microsoft LifeCam" program has this silly whining in the background. Also, my apologies, the sound is NOT synced with the picture... some kind of weird thing happened in the upload phase... Anyone who has more technical knowledge than me ... HELP!

I'm thinking a Sunday weekly vlog to wrap up my life that week? And set out goals for the upcoming week? Who knows. I'm so terribly inconsistent. 

"Talk" to you later!

XOXO

Nessa

Rubber boots because I'm tired of snow, and I want Spring to come damnit!

VLOG! ... er maybe not

Alright. I did make a vlog... I wasn't going to post it but Tai is such a nice lady that I thought, what the hell, why not. :) Plus even if I'm fat right now... it's always good to look back and have reference of what you used to look like.

Vlog #1!

And here is the space it was supposed to be in.... but Blogger won't let me upload a .wmv file? Eep. Help. What kind of file CAN I upload??? Jeez blogger.

Anywho, I'll have to do it again another day. It had a weird high pitched whine in the background anyway, Fucking Windows programming. That doesn't happen when I skype or use Corel. :P So I'll do it again in a different program (any suggestions?).

I bought new diet pills today... the ones I bought last time were the most expensive on the shelf... and were a load of hooey. Today I bought some kind of "Ultimate Fat Burner" things. Should I wait a day or two before starting a new pill? Probably. Will I? No. Not at all. According to the box 30% higher weight loss than diet and exercise alone... good! And the study was based on a 1350 cal/day diet, which I am NOT on.

Plan for tomorrow:
1) wake up early enough to stop at Safeway on the way to school.
2) Stop at safeway and buy veggies/fruit etc. (also bring apples, kiwi, and banana from home, just to save money)
3) Go to new school
4) Student teach the shit out of the students
5) Stop by the YMCA after school and hopefully I'll be able to go....

Why might I not be able to go? Well the last time I had a membership I let it lapse. And by let it lapse I mean my credit card maxed out... so I couldn't pay for it anymore. And I had like minus-a million-billion-trillion in the bank because all I did was pay bills, pay tiny pieces of credit card... then use said credit card. Now I have NO debt (other than my student loans... which I'm pretending don't exist). And I should be able to afford the gym pass all summer based on my savings accounts. Somehow I'm suddenly good with money? Well besides spending $90 on vitamins... and at least $40 a month on diet pills. :P

So hungry, I had a baby orange just now. I don't think that will put a wrench in my usual overnight "loss". Gah. I just want to hack it all off... like now! This afternoon when I was hungry I walked to the gym. That worked. I'll have to do that more often (the walking when I'm hungry, as I didn't actually use the gym).

Well, night night ladies. <3 Let's all hope for lower numbers tomorrow morning.
XOXO Nessa

Leggings in anticipation of the overdue spring!

A clean Slate

I begin teaching in a new school and I'm almost done my degree... I thought a fresh start was in order.

I got a webcam, so someday when I'm not all grody and greasy (and perhaps not as fat) I'll make a vlog!

Yesterday I hit 191 on the nose... and of course I self sabotaged that. I nanny'd and ate a bunch of pizza. And today I made cookies and have steadily been eating all day. Gotta cut that shit out. Soooooooo much easier when I'm teaching. Last year I went to Sobey's and got fresh veggies, then rationed them for a couple of days. That should work again :D

Ya know who's smokin'? Shakira! Here are some tastey pics of her:

If I were that size YOU BET I would publicly roll around in the mud.

And if you've a moment, this is a link to my fave' Shakira song. Makes me wanna belly dance again. 

Good night blog land. :) Next up for discussion, a new gym pass! But I'll leave that until tomorrow or the day after. Gotta have some kinda hook to keep you coming back. 

Love you all, 

XOXO

Nessa