Willpower. . . . I can has it?

Sam - you're such a sweetheart. Your comments always make me smile :)

Made it past the 7 8 and 9 pm rounds of "i want to eat everything I see including pets and small children" 

Baby steps. I set up my little white board so it's the last thing I see when I leave,  and the first thing I see when I get home. I mean business. This shit is serious.

Here's a pic of the popsicles I made. Almond milk, protein powder and instant coffee. 20 calories a pop! (my phone corrupted the file . . . So no pic :( ) And there's yhe pic of my whiteboard of glory. 216.7 I can't even try to deny it. I'm hoping that seeing my weight next to calories consumed will help keep me on track.

Weird. I'm not used to this grumbley tummy feeling at bed time. But I am serious about this. I have to be. I need to be sexy and fitting into shorts and dresses I already own.

Peace out for now.
Xoxo Nessa

VLoooooooG

Alright. I can't remember if I mentioned how I looked last year in this one or not.... because I had to re-record it a few times but here's me around this time last year:

Now I know why everyone wanted pictures with me.... I was jumbo-tastic

Here I'm even attempting to tilt my head to make it a more flattering angle. Ugh.

Pardon the picture of me with my ex. This is last year at Lobster Night. My face is round and my hair looks icky. This year I'm going for the "sex bomb" look. And I'm glad my face is less round. Lobster night is happening on Friday. Sooooo I need to basically not eat all week...... yeah.

 I'm on this. But I need to break my food addiction..... help.

Working on stuff

Not myself, but actual stuff. Will post a real post later but this is just for some feedback.

Donna (Billy's Mom) asked me to learn this for her.

Lemme know what you think. I know it doesn't completely line up, I recorded the audio and video separately. Also.... don't mind my crazy picture. It just stays there. One crazy picture of me with the crazy eye ;)

I want to eat a whole horse, and then a hippo, then a cow, then everything else on the planet

215.3 this morning. Down from the 219 (WTF) I was a couple days ago. Can you say PAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIC ATTACK?
Measured my waist the morning I saw 219, it was smaller. Thank the lord.

So I've gotten into this habit of eating late at night, and telling myself "it's ok, I'll only have this." then i eat a shit tonne and tell myself "it's ok. I'll do better tomorrow" and I don't.

Well, tonight I'm doing better. I still want to eat everything. But I will not. I had a spoon of peanut butter, and I'm going to have a couple frozen yogurt (with protein powder) covered strawberries I made this weekend, baby carrots, and that will be it. Only tea after that...... fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Help me. I'm addicted to eating. I haven't even been anywhere near my "safe" calorie zone. I just want to shovel it ALL into my mouth. Tomorrow I'll replace carrots with celery. . . . hopefully that will move me toward not eating like it's going out of style.

Weekend fun :)

Monday Morning - Day 5 of the squat challenge.

Everything is ok. Everything will be ok. This should be my new mantra, since I spend so much time being paranoid about life.

Peri - Dean is a super prat. This morning he messaged me hey and asked how I was. I told him I was baking (more about that later!) and asked how he was. He said hungover and horny, come help me. I was like ummmmm negatory on both fronts. Too bad because he could be such a good friend.

Sam - "Someone else is eating my lasagna" hahahaha. That sounded dirty. I really literally meant that I cooked a lasgna and brought Mike most of it. Dean knows that I cook a lot of home made meals, and do a lot of baking. It's part of the reason Dean's so attracted to me. He wants a mommy/wife.

Tempest - Thanks. I know. But my brain still does a complete freak out at the number change. I really should take some measurements. But I'm even more afraid of that than the scale.

Mike did come with me to the fundraiser dinner on Friday :D He was a grumpy bum. And to be fair, it was warranted. The dinner was $14. Both of our steaks were undercooked and cold. The potatoes were dry, and also cold. Like so cold my butter didn't want to melt. I told him he didn't have to come... He was like Yes I did. Good boy. Lol. I was supposed to be done volunteering and then go home with Mike, but nobody who said they would volunteer actually showed up other than Tim Hollee and JC and I, so I had to mind the cash box for the last hour. Here's a pic of my grumpy gus:

Notice he is smiling? He wasn't as grumpy as I made him out to be. Also, I was using the smile feature on my phone. It won't take a picture if you're not smiling, and then when you do, it automatically captures the moment. Magic!

Went back to Mike's after I was all done. We watched Discovery Science for a bit, then motored back to my place for .... "relations" and sleeping. I was all pms-y, and he was super tired, which was a HORRIBLE combination. He fell asleep pretty much right after, and I wanted to cuddle because that's what I'm accustomed to. But then when we didn't I got all huffy. I rolled over a bunch, I don't know why. Then I started to cry. He rolled over and was like "are you alright? What's wrong?" I said nothing was wrong, because I didn't want to go into the reasons I was being irrational. I got up to go to the bathroom, got a drink of water etc. He was like are you sure there's nothing wrong? You seem kind of stompy. I said no I'm fine. Arg. I told myself to either tell him or let it go. I chose to let it go.

Saturday morning we cuddled and went for brunch together. Then we parted ways. We both had shit to do. I went to an elementary choir workshop to help out. Which turned into me running sectionals. Thanks. But under normal circumstances I would have charged money for that. But instead she (the woman I taught for last year) sprung it on me when I got there. Lame. Saturday evening Mike and his friends watched the fights and Tim and Hollee and I went to another friends house for a few drinks. I had 3/4 of a bottle of wine all to myself. At about 10:30 Tim and Hollee decided to go home, and I did NOT want to stay at that particular friend's place by myself. Good thing Mike invited me to come play pool  with his friends. *whew* Hollee gave me a ride and I met up with the boys there. We were both fairly drunk, he was all smiley :) Katie came up to me (Layton's gf, who is awesome by the way) and was like "so are you guys together?" fair question since we have that habit of being on and off. She is a waitress at the restaurant we frequent.  I said yes, and that it was all official and he'd taken me to Easter dinner. She told me that he really likes me and is just afraid of commitment. Which is fine, as I get older, I am too. However, I don't think I'd let him weasle out and come back again. Or maybe I would. The sex is fantaaaaaaaaaastic lol. Ugh. Shoulda just gotten married at 19 and been done with it lol. He brought up the idea of me getting my nipples pierced again, which he was fixated on when we started this whole thing again in February (3 months straight.... new milestones here. Also never was official, and never met his family before. So these are all positives and steps in the right direction). I told him if he came on vacation with me I would. He said he couldn't afford it, I said I'd pay, he said that's silly and reminded me that the government might be taking some of my money back. I said fine, if you come to Saskatoon with me I will. He agreed. This conversation he did not completely remember ahah. He remembered saying I should get it done, but didn't remember agreeing to go to Saskatoon with me hahahah. Too bad for him, I remembered lol. And reminded him on Sunday. We stumbled home drunkly at 1:30. Mmmmmm. Drunk cuddles with my baby. Love it.

Sunday we stayed in bed until at least 1. Sleeping on and off, cuddling, canoodling. Ya know, the kinds of things you should spend Sunday with a lover doing. Then we walked back to his place to pick up his truck, and drop me off at my car. He was on call this weekend, so he had to go shovel snow at the old folks home, which is apparently under jurisdiction of the hospital employees. I went home and installed the printer I bought on Friday. Now I can print from ANYWHERE!!! even my cell phone!! Baked some peanut butter cookies, with protein powder in them! Mmmmm. Brought a bunch of them to game and a bunch over to le boyfriends house before I went to game. I'm such a good girlfriend. I also brought him a wall adapter for his iPhone and some other stuff because when we went home from the pool hall, his room mate (who actually owns the house) invited a bunch of people over, and some of Mike's stuff went missing :( extra shitty when it's people you know taking your shit :(

And now it's Monday. A return to schedule and normality. And controlled eating *ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm*
XOXO Nessa

Post separation calm

Thursday already???!?!! How did that happen? And now it's Friday???

Didn't weigh myself this morning, but yesterday I was 213.8. I'm pretty sure I've taken to skipping the 213's completely so maybe this will finally be a downward trend. Urg. I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of being fat. :(

Went for a 5.85km walk yesterday evening. :D Burned 410 calories doing so. Restarted the squat challenge this morning Hooray. I feel like my thighs are continuing to shrink slowly. They didn't make me want to vomit as I was doing my squats this morning. I have a sexy dress that I want to wear to the Trout Festival Fundraiser on Friday evening. And an even sexier one that I want to look good in for my birthday. It's fairly skimpy.... so we'll see.

So here's how my week went. (so far, since it's only Thursday)

Monday, Mike was supposed to help me pick up a coffee table and 2 end tables with his truck after work. But the girl didn't reply to my texts or phone calls. .... so I told him he was off the hook. He texted me after that and he was all ....."soooo. do you wanna hang out?". Aw. I said that would be nice, your place or mine. He said mine. And after I didn't reply for like 5 minutes, he was like "so can I come over?". Hahah. I had to pick something else up to, so he took me to the next town over to pick up my Keurig. Mmmm. Coffee We sat on my couch for a little bit, all snuggly like, he kissed me on top of my head a bunch of times, and then we went to bed at like 9:00. Old people we are. :) After the usual activities (mmmmm. he's so yummy) we fell asleep all cuddled up, with our faces touching. Gosh. I like him. Like a lot. His arms and his back are all muscley and sexy, and he's so kissy, it's fantastic. Mmmmm. And he's so authoratative/commanding in bed. Like "take of your panties". Tehe. I love it. And he likes to spoon me (Billy hated spooning, he'd only do it for like 2 minutes, then roll over, and Clayton never spooned me either). Mike likes to spoon, and he kisses me on the back of the neck the whole time. Like if he falls asleep spooning me, if he wakes up, he kisses me right away. And I feel so sexy when we're *ahem* canoodling. I need a better word for that. He always kisses me everywhere. He kisses my tummy, and my legs and my arms.

Tuesday I worked, and did NOTHING after school. Literally. I lay on my couch and was lazy. I got a up at one point, to purchase a lamp. That is all.

Wednesday, work again. Went for my walk :D and discovered that my phone is retarded!!!! I put 2 Justin Timberlake albums onto my phone..... and they would play like 2 or 3 seconds of a song and then go to the next one. Extreeeeeeemely frustrating. Arg. By the time my phone synced the 4 playlists I was trying to sync onto it (it failed, didn't do it. they're not there, the program crashed. AHHH) it was 7:30. Went for my walk. Had some din din when I got home, and a rather large glass of Prosecco.

Thursday, I worked again. Whoo hoo, for my bank account. Boo for the giant pile of laundry in my closet. One of my professor's from Music School is up here to do some choral workshops, so I went to that from 8-9ish. Soooo exciting to see her again!!! But a lot of what she went over was stuff I'd learned in her class, which is good. Review is always great. There was some new stuff too. Oh. Dean messaged me in the morning over facebook, talking about how he was bored, and on days off. I asked him why he didn't go visit his girlfriend if he was bored? He said he "kicked her to the curb a month ago" because she "sucked at life" (he wouldn't give me any other details). He also asked me if I was single again yet...... ummmmmmmm. I said no. Unfortunately for you, someone else is eating my lasagna currently. Well that explains why he called me for a ride a couple weeks ago, and why he's been talking to me lately. I'm still pretty sure we could never date. He's a nice guy, and we get along really well..... but remember waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in September when my family came to visit? and I went and slept over at Dean's? Oh wait, you don't, because I was avoiding this blog at the time.

Well, my family came to visit, and they were crazy, because they always are, but they didn't stay with me that time. There was a night when my family and I were playing cards, and I tried to convince Dean to come play with us. He declined the invitation (at this point, his licence was still revoked) but said I should come out there to have a good sleep and a cuddle. This was back when my heat wasn't working, so sleeping at home was miserable. I went out there and we had a "no touching sexy bits" rule. We cuddled, and slept and I drove back into town in the morning. It was that night that I discovered I'm not sexually attracted to him in any way. Also, he's really hairy, and his hair is pokey. Like even on his back. ew.

 I'll stick to my fury Mike-man-candy. Mmmmm. Mike. Writing all this stuff about him is making me feel very flushed, and hot and bothered.

Friday - Suddenly I weigh as much as a small truck?!?!?!?! Like up 3 pounds!!!!!!! WTF. Kill me. Like a lame horse. I'm useless. Also, slightly crampy, so that could have something to do with it. my jeans are making a bit of a muffin top, but my thighs don't look like they're bigger. So I'm going to guess it's my lady times and I'm bloated, which is hard to tell because I don't really get my period anymore.

Tonight there's a fundraiser dinner thing for the Trout Festival. I asked Mike on Tuesday if he wanted to come, he said probably. Sooooo hopefully he comes with me tonight. We haven't really been out together, other than going out to eat, since the summer, and there was that night right before he broke up with me after Christmas that we were both out, but I wasn't included in his plans, and I only saw him in passing as he left the bar I'd just gotten to, to go to the one I'd just left (that was a shitty night). I'm going to dress all sexy like, heels and everything ;) Also.... got my sexy nightie in the mail yesterday. I'm going to pack it in my purse, in case I end up at Mike's tonight. Though usually if there's a chance of shennanegans/canoodling we go to my place, out of respect to his room mate. Fingers crossed that he still wants to come with me. If not... I'm gonna lay on the guilt. . . . . or just lay on him. *sigh* one track mind. Arg. His cousin is in the class I'm typing this during. Weird.

I've been eating shitty all week. I'm going to give myself the weekend to continue doing so. Then it's back to calorie counting.

alright. Have a good weekend ladies.

Love y'all
XOXO Nessa

Family time.

No idea what I weigh. These people are driving me crazy already.

So Wednesday I did go with Mike to The Pas. And after the hour and a half drive there... they said someone brought the truck to FlinFlon. Needless to say Mike was super unimpressed. So we drove back because really what choice did we have. When we got back to town I figured he'd just drop me off since there's no real point to  me going with him. I mean really I just wanted to go along for the drive. But nope.  He took me with him to the dealership with him :) then I left for rehearsal. The truck is suuuper sexy. I'll try to take a picture. 

Mike left Thursday morning. I have major separation anxiety. Like I'm worried he's going to forget about me or something.  He's texted me while he's been gone so far so I feel a little better. But I want him to come home. :( 

Now to the fam jam stuff. They came in Thursday night. Everyone went to the sports bar down the street from my house after dress rehearsal... but not me. I took my family back to my place and they completely took over my space. Their shit filled every available space. I tried to go to bed at midnight but they were so friggin loud I couldn't fall asleep. And they broke one of my wine glasses on top of that. Eff sakes. OOoooooh. And my Dad brought me sausage and some perogies from down south, and he said "you can tally how much they cost and pay me back" to which I replied "can we just call it even for the Chicago tickets?" (since I paid $35 a piece for them and bought 3 of them). He was like.... oh. I should give you money for those. So he gave me money for him and Judy. My sister was like "....do I have to pay you too?". I said don't worry about it. 

Friday morning we went for breakfast and then they were like "soo... what do you want to do?". I was like there isn't really much to do  in the winter. And Dad and Judy are both on disability and extremely out of shape. So it's not like I could take them on a walk or go up to the tower because they wouldn't make it very far. All I wanted was a nap after my shitty sleep but no. We went to Canadian Tire and Wal-Mart. Piddled around a little more. Had a late lunch and then it was time for me to get ready. Soooooo fucking tired. And I neglected to eat from 3 until the show was done at 10. After the show, there was no, "that was great!" or "good job!". Nothing. No comments. So I lied and said that I had to go for "notes" at someones house. I had some veggies and dip and a couple tiny dainty squares and a couple cubes of cheese at 11 at the reception.  went home at 11:40 and paid attention to my family. They were still up. I stayed up til 1ish. Then tried to crash. But to no avail. They were soooo fuuuuucking loud. Ugh. But I didn't complain. I just let it slide. Mike texted me a little that day. But not really :( I texted him to ask what they were up to that evening and he never answered me. He did say "Good night" when I said I was going to bed though.

Saturday morning. They were grumpy and starting to nit pick at each other. I was grumpy cuz they're jerks. But I didn't say anything. I paid for brunch and they were on their way. When I got home, I was looking around my kitchen, and they left a mess. Of course. There were crumbs all over the counter. A cutting board with crumbs all over it. Knives from whatever they cut on the cutting board . . . oh and some weed. Gosh. Thanks Dad. He brought his vapourizer so "it wouldn't smell" but it still did. And all the leftover bits of weed? He put them in the spoon rest on my stove. Thanks. And left them. So there was a little pile of weed in it. Fuck my house smelled like it too. Thanks family. Went home, had a nap, then it was time to get ready. Mike didn't text me at all Saturday :( So now I'm feeling crappy, and sad, and just all around downtrodden. I texted him when I got to the hall to ask when he wanted to help me pick up my coffee table. He said Monday. I asked him to wish me luck, and asked if my texting him was bothering him or annoying him, since he hadn't really been responding to me all day. He only replied "Good luck". So I took that to mean yes, and left him alone. 

Now it's Sunday afternoon. I'm about to go to back for our matinee performance. I feel so tired and shitty that I don't even want to do my own makeup. I think I'll just let the makeup ladies do it. I've been doing it on my own all along, but I don't even want to put the effort in. I just want Mike to come home and cuddle me, or talk to me. I feel bummed and blue. And I want my family to give a shit. 

I went out last night and the boy who plays my boyfriend and I took a picture together. Cameras like me, so I don't look like the hippo I actually am. Also, sorry for the poor quality, it was dark. 

Love you guys. 

 

So tired

I'm tired. I have a post sitting in drafts. Will finish later. Opening night went really well. Now I need to sleep like 428294 hours before tomorrow's show. Lol. Night all

Xoxo
Nessa

No mercy from the scale

214.8 Friday morning. Kill me now.
Monday brought me 211.6
Tuesday . . . Back up to 214. Wtf :(

I'm putting the squat challenge on hold. Though I'm noticing small changes, I'm also noticong that I'm absolutely exhausted after rehearsals amd my legs are shaking when I'm sitting down. Never mind trotting around in heels. Oh and I'm sick as a dog. I can't sing half of my notes and my talking voice is almost non existent. 

Tomorrow Mike drives over to The Pas to get his new truck. I'm hoping to get to go with him if he leaves early enough for me to get back in time for dress rehearsal.

Clayton's in town. Hollee saw him in town today. But I'm pretty sure he won't try to contact me.

Tomorrow night is our first dress rehearsal. Here's how I dI'd my hair for my trial run. And make up too..... aw hell. I'll post a picture of my slutty costume too . Ans I'm going to post the one where my thighs look huuuuuge (because they are) instead of the ridiculously flatteting one. Oh fuck it. You get em all
Nighty night lovelies.

Sickly me :(

I weighed in this morning at 214. I'm not completely surprised since I've eaten shitty all week. Actually not even shitty because I don't have any crap food in my house. But I've definitely been overeating and eating too late at night.

Today I broke my pattern of lethargic behavior. I subbed high school gym. There was an incident but I'll type about that in a little bit. Two of the three classes I taught had only a few students in them. But the last class of the day had 14 students so I joined them for at least half an hour of their soccer game. So there was that. Then I was going to go for a cruise after school but suddenly had the urge to go for a walk instead. I tried to walk around the lake path but some of the places I walked over still had lots of snow. A lot of it was hard packed but in a couple places ice sunk throuch up to my knee. About halfway around the path I gave up and walked out to the perimeter. instead of my walk being an hour, it was an hour and a half. Not as many hills and no staircases up the big rocks but still definitely a lot of incline. Hooray I actually did something. And I stayed in my calorie limit for the first time in awhile. Hopefully the scale is kind to me tomorrow morning. As a bonus, as I was walking past the pool hall Mike pulled up for his game. So I got to talk to him and give him a kiss before I left to go back home. :-)

Alright to the incident. So I was teaching some grade 9 and 10 high risk boys and they were playing basketball. I let them go for a water break and when I came back there was one boy hanging from the bars behind the backboard and two boys sitting on top of them. I told him to get down and the one boy did but the second boy gave me attitude. I asked him what part of him thought it was a good idea. He said the part where I can do whatever the fuck I want. I said you know the rules and you can either be respectful here or leave. He started swearing and I don't even remember what he said until I told him he needed to leave and as he was walking out the door he yelled over his shoulder
You're just a bitch that doesn't know anything. I ignored him and he left. I went to go check with the other teacher to see what his name was and when I walked away he poked his head back in and started swearing again. The other gym teacher call him over and asked him why he was being like this. He said he was mad that I got all up in his business and it bothered him when I asked him to stop. She said something like you know you can't act like that. And he got all mad and walked away and said something like she probably takes it up her ass on his way out. so I got to fill out a nifty incident report form. My first one ever.

Tomorrow I'm working at the clinic and then I have rehearsals like crazy all weekend. I hope I get to see Mike but it is completely possible that I won't. :-(

Wanna know the neatest thing? I dictated this whole entry to my phone. This is hard because I'm sick and losing my voice. Poor timing on my body's part. I need to just sleep all weekend so that I have voice for next weekend. Unfortunately all next week I'm booked to teach junior high which means possibly a lot of yelling. If they're awful I'm just going to call for a different sub. I don't have time for this bullshit.

Anyways, time for bed for me I need sleep if I'm going to get over this disease I have. Half of me hopes they just send me home from work tomorrow. I need the money but I feel like shit lol.

Love you all, sweet dreams

Nessa XO XO

April showers

No showers yet!

Peri - my hair is naturally a shade or two darker than it currently is in the winter. But it gets this gray mousey tone that I do not like so I colour it closer to my summer colour. In the summer the top layer gets suuuuuuper blonde :) my hair is so light naturally that we don't have to use bleach to lighten it. Lucky me. Now if only I could lose more weight and have an awesome body for my nice hair and pretty face :p also.... I totally dig beaver jokes lol.

Tempest - well aren't you just a doll. I joined a theatre company when I was 12. I did that for a few years but then when I moved to a city it was harder to get into a group especially when I had to take the bus. Chicago is my return to the stage after a 10 year hiatus. I think I like the idea of being someone else and having people accept that.

Alright here goes. Its Monday night, and I haven't weighed myself since Sunday morning. I hit 210.5 but that was before second family dinner and some junk food. This weekend was crazy, not crazy busy but just full of boyfriend time.

Saturday evening was fine. I already knew 2 of his cousins and his sister so I kind of hid, in the living room with them. After supper his mom asked me if I was coming for supper the next day. I said that Mike  had not mentioned it and she said that she hadn't said anything to him yet. Lol. After family supper we went back to Mike's place and we spent the evening watching the last few episodes of Game of Thrones that I hadn't seen yet. He lent me a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and a sweater so I didn't have to wear my skirt. I ended up falling asleep on him on the couch at like 1130 so we went to bed early.

Sunday morning we got up and went to chicken chef for breakfast actually not breakfast lol. By the time we actually got up it was like 1 o'clock. So we had our brunch and went back to my his place until it was time to go to his parents house for supper. That night I joined him and his friends for Magic cards. It was an interesting evening. To start with, the guys house we were at was my friend Ripper's. He has 2 kids and happens to be Mike's cousin. his kids were up when we got there and they were excited to show me all their games on the iPod. And they were super excited to see Mike too. They were climbing on his lap and getting him to tickle them. It was adorable. When the kids went to bed I had a beer or 2 but I was limiting myself because I had offered to be the designated driver. Later in the evening they asked me if I wanted a hoot. I was feeling pretty good and not tipsy or anything so I decided I would... .. This was a horrible decision. It hit me so hard right away and when I went back in and we were playing cards again there was way too much noise for me. I felt so sick but not like I need to puke, like I needed to take a big poop which I hate doing at other peoples houses. Especially when there isn't a fan to run and I'm pretty sure the people in the kitchen can hear me. But I felt so horrible there was no way I couldn't. So I tried to do it as quietly as possible. I felt a little bit better after, so I went back out. Oh I should mention there also wasn't any room spray for me to cover up the smell lol. When I got back to the table, they were all trying to help me play my cards but it was too much stimulation for me. Mike looked at me and asked me if I was doing alright? I said no and that I needed to lie down. Ripper brought me to the spare room and got me a blanket and a glass of water and turned on the night light for me. Mike was so sweet he came to check on me right away and made sure that I didn't need anything. He came back every 10 minutes or so the first time was after I had coughed and he was worried that I'd thrown up or something. The next couple times he came in and rubbed my back and made sure I didn't feel bad about having to leave a game and not being able to handle the pot. I felt like an idiot. The last time he came to check on me he crawled into bed with me can rubbed my back and told me everything was okay and told me I handled it like a champ. He just kept talking to me and making me feel better. When I thanked him today for taking care of me, he said he didn't really do much. I told him that I appreciated him coming to check on me. He said that even though he didn't have to do anything , there was still care behind it. When I could finally sit up on my own, I went back to the game. They were still on the same game I had left. They played one Tier 1 game after that, and I drove Mike and Matt to their house. When we got there Mike asked Matt to grab his cards for him and came home with me. We had plans to go for breakfast with the guys we played cards with that night but since we only left the card game at like 430 in the morning we were super tired when they called at 9am. Also Mike was all grabby hands and decided he'd rather fool around than go for breakfast. We did that and napped until noon and then he suggested we go for lunch at my favourite place to have lunch in town instead of the place we usually go. :-) We went to the sandwich shop and I had a soup and a sandwich, which is my favourite thing to have for lunch. He paid, he always offers even if he doesn't have very much money, but we usually trade off who actually pays. We had walked to the sandwich shop from my house and when we went to leave he just automatically turned to walk to his house but didn't say anything like do you want to come over just started walking that way like he just assumed i was coming with him.lol. After running some errands we watched the season finale of walking dead and the season premiere of Game of Thrones and that was our whole Monday. Then he went to pool and I went to rehearsal.

I totally did not expect him to spend so much time with me this weekend but it was super comfortable and relaxing. I kept expecting him to tell me he needed space and wanted me to go home. I'm super paranoid like that. Also I was texting with Ripper before a we went to his house to game, and he mentioned that Mike's grandpa had called me his girlfriend. I told him that things were definitely official and that we had a talk about it. Funny thing is, he said Mike referred to me as his girlfriend before I even mentioned it to him. So apparently the whole time I was questioning it and worrying, he was already calling me his girlfriend. Boys are dumb lol.

In other news, my roommate actually moved out. She left behind some stuff because it apparently didn't fit in the truck; like her keyboard and it's stand and her bed frame, which is just 1 of those metal frames that comes apart and fold down pretty flat. I told her it has to be out by next weekend because my family is coming to visit and they're going to stay in that room. She agreed but technically she should have had all her shit out by today since it's April first. her excuse was that it's just so hard to move and unpack with her puppy around because he thinks its a game. She also complained but there isn't really any room for her stuff at her boyfriend's house. I had zero sympathy for her since she didn't have to move out. She could have waited until 1 of the guys moved out and there would've have been lots of space. I have to admit, I was a little short with her but what did she expect? I'm not like everybody else, I don't let her walk all over me just to get her own way.

Anyway, since I've been lazy , and by lazy I mean freakishly busy with rehearsals, I decided to do another month long challenge. Not that I made it through the last 1, but it's always good to have a goal in mind. Next weekend is Chicago, and after that I'll have all my weekend and weeknights to myself. I'll have time to go to Aquafit and swim on other days, and hit the weight room a few days a week. Also by then it'll be nice out and we can start walking around the lake again. I'm posting the April madness Calendar I found on Facebook and the 30 day squat challenge I'm going to do. Join me if you like. I only found them at rehearsal so it was too late to get my heart rate up if I wanted to sleep tonight so the April madness I'll start tomorrow, but I did do 50 squats before bed. I would love to have a nice ass this summer.

So there you have it, my boring but delightfully awesome love life and a new challenge. As I was squatting I looked over in the mirror and my thighs don't look quite as chunky as they did before. I'm expecting a higher number on the scale tomorrow because I ate crap for supper and definitely snacked on rice cake chips after rehearsal and had a beer. Those flavored rice cakes have a lot of salt in them, so I'll probably retain some water. Fingers crossed that it isn't horrible .

Love you all,
Xoxo
Nessa