Hey everyone,
I haven't posted in..... well a very long time. I'm back up to 10 pounds shy of my highest weight :(
I have been thinking about not eating, and counting calories, and going back to the way I did it before.... which is hard when you're co-habitating with someone who actually loves you and doesn't leave you home alone all the time. I don't mean to sound ungrateful.... but how can I binge, and have laxi days, and starve myself when you're always around???!!!
Soooooo, I'm going to do this the healthy way. I found a site called Nerd Fitness.com and they're all about changing the way you think about food, and working out etc. I want to try lifting. I'm tired of doing workouts that I can barely manage at my current fitness level, then feeling shitty about it, instead of getting all those post-workout endorphins.
Currently, I work for 3 different school divisions substitute teaching, and now I've started picking up occasional overnight shifts in the Admitting department of our hospital, so not eating is not an option. Pretty sure I'd forget which school/job to go to. .... and I fucking love food. :( Plus, someday I want babies, and I don't want them thinking they're fat the way I always have (even when I wasn't) and having the issues I carry with me.
I'm not going to post on this blog, probably ever again, I'm afraid I'd just slowly meander toward old habits. So I've started a new blog. You can find me at http://nerdynessislosingit.wordpress.com/
It should be safe for anyone to read, I don't think there will be anything triggering in it.
If you want to email me, you can use my personal (like real person) email address vanessaunrau@gmail.com
I hope you're all doing fabulously. I miss blogging, and reading about your lives, but I know myself, and I know I'd want to start logging the calories, and then I'd start cutting back here and there, and then I'd end up in the exact same rut. NO MORE. I'm doing this the healthy way. I will be strong. I will be fierce. I will be able to buy jeans any day, not just when I'm feeling ok, because it's too much of an ego blow.
I love you ladies so much, and I've learned a lot from the time I spent blogging here, but it's time to move on, and take care of myself.
