Tuesday but it feels like Thursday.

217 this morning. I want to die. I have just under 2 weeks before I meet Mike's whole family, or most of them. Cake was just a taster. Haha. That was punny. 

What did I eat today? I'm gonna be honest. This is the only way I can seem to keep on track, by telling my dirtiest secret. No calorie numbers today. I'm going to get back on that bandwagon once ive got a handle on the ridiculous binging I've been doing . I'm friggin disappointed in myself. I NEED to drop at least 5 pounds, preferably 10 before I go for Easter dinner...... It's so fricken cold out all the time. I just want to cuddle up and eat food in the 2 hours of time I have to myself. :( And I often do, as that number at the top of this post shows. And my biggest downfall is binging late at night. Like WTF. How do I keep letting this number creep back up??? I bought so many fresh fruits and veggies, but all I want to eat is carbs... and fat. Like bread, and crackers and cheese on everything. Chicago is in 3 weeks and I haven't slimmed down at all. So much for showing them all how hot I'd be by then....

B - Blueberry muffin and a coffee (this once a week muffin habit has turned into a daily occurrence. THIS NEEDS TO STOP)
L - Roasted tomato and red pepper soup. With goldfish and a few of those low fat babybel thrown in.
S - tuna meltish thing. Tuna and smoked gouda and celery and shredded carrots with a dab of mayo. Zapped for melty goodness and eaten with rice cakes.
Snack after my dress rehearsal -apple, baby mandarin orange and peppermint tea with honey.

I will not consume any more than that today. I will retain control over what goes into my mouth. This is hard. I have good intentions of going to public swim before work tomorrow.... so at like 6:30 in the morning. But the very thought of getting up that early and being on and going until the play ends at like 9:45 tomorrow night is exhausting. But I really don't have any other time to go workout at all. There is adult swim at lunch but I agreed to take someone's bus duty and if I went for a swim I wouldn't have time to eat and that would make tomorrow night very long. We'll see. I will set my alarm for early enough to make a protein shake and get ready to go. If I'm there when they open at 6:30 and I swim for half an hour I will burn 344 calories. And after a swim and coming home i'd still be up earlier than I normally am for work, and more invigorated. I remember when I used to run before class in University. My days were just as long as they are now (though  I had WAY more free time) but I felt so much better instead of this stupid sluggish feeling I have all the time.

Alright, it's 10:55. And my tummy is grumbling (shut up down there!!!) so I'd better go to sleep before I'm tempted to eat. 

Wish me luck with the early wake up......

|XO|X|O Nessa