Friday, April 5, 2013

No mercy from the scale

214.8 Friday morning. Kill me now.
Monday brought me 211.6
Tuesday . . . Back up to 214. Wtf :(

I'm putting the squat challenge on hold. Though I'm noticing small changes, I'm also noticong that I'm absolutely exhausted after rehearsals amd my legs are shaking when I'm sitting down. Never mind trotting around in heels. Oh and I'm sick as a dog. I can't sing half of my notes and my talking voice is almost non existent. 

Tomorrow Mike drives over to The Pas to get his new truck. I'm hoping to get to go with him if he leaves early enough for me to get back in time for dress rehearsal.

Clayton's in town. Hollee saw him in town today. But I'm pretty sure he won't try to contact me.

Tomorrow night is our first dress rehearsal. Here's how I dI'd my hair for my trial run. And make up too..... aw hell. I'll post a picture of my slutty costume too . Ans I'm going to post the one where my thighs look huuuuuge (because they are) instead of the ridiculously flatteting one. Oh fuck it. You get em all
Nighty night lovelies.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Sickly me :(

I weighed in this morning at 214. I'm not completely surprised since I've eaten shitty all week. Actually not even shitty because I don't have any crap food in my house. But I've definitely been overeating and eating too late at night.

Today I broke my pattern of lethargic behavior. I subbed high school gym. There was an incident but I'll type about that in a little bit. Two of the three classes I taught had only a few students in them. But the last class of the day had 14 students so I joined them for at least half an hour of their soccer game. So there was that. Then I was going to go for a cruise after school but suddenly had the urge to go for a walk instead. I tried to walk around the lake path but some of the places I walked over still had lots of snow. A lot of it was hard packed but in a couple places ice sunk throuch up to my knee. About halfway around the path I gave up and walked out to the perimeter. instead of my walk being an hour, it was an hour and a half. Not as many hills and no staircases up the big rocks but still definitely a lot of incline. Hooray I actually did something. And I stayed in my calorie limit for the first time in awhile. Hopefully the scale is kind to me tomorrow morning. As a bonus, as I was walking past the pool hall Mike pulled up for his game. So I got to talk to him and give him a kiss before I left to go back home. :-)

Alright to the incident. So I was teaching some grade 9 and 10 high risk boys and they were playing basketball. I let them go for a water break and when I came back there was one boy hanging from the bars behind the backboard and two boys sitting on top of them. I told him to get down and the one boy did but the second boy gave me attitude. I asked him what part of him thought it was a good idea. He said the part where I can do whatever the fuck I want. I said you know the rules and you can either be respectful here or leave. He started swearing and I don't even remember what he said until I told him he needed to leave and as he was walking out the door he yelled over his shoulder
You're just a bitch that doesn't know anything. I ignored him and he left. I went to go check with the other teacher to see what his name was and when I walked away he poked his head back in and started swearing again. The other gym teacher call him over and asked him why he was being like this. He said he was mad that I got all up in his business and it bothered him when I asked him to stop. She said something like you know you can't act like that. And he got all mad and walked away and said something like she probably takes it up her ass on his way out. so I got to fill out a nifty incident report form. My first one ever.

Tomorrow I'm working at the clinic and then I have rehearsals like crazy all weekend. I hope I get to see Mike but it is completely possible that I won't. :-(

Wanna know the neatest thing? I dictated this whole entry to my phone. This is hard because I'm sick and losing my voice. Poor timing on my body's part. I need to just sleep all weekend so that I have voice for next weekend. Unfortunately all next week I'm booked to teach junior high which means possibly a lot of yelling. If they're awful I'm just going to call for a different sub. I don't have time for this bullshit.

Anyways, time for bed for me I need sleep if I'm going to get over this disease I have. Half of me hopes they just send me home from work tomorrow. I need the money but I feel like shit lol.

Love you all, sweet dreams

Nessa XO XO

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

April showers

No showers yet!

Peri - my hair is naturally a shade or two darker than it currently is in the winter. But it gets this gray mousey tone that I do not like so I colour it closer to my summer colour. In the summer the top layer gets suuuuuuper blonde :) my hair is so light naturally that we don't have to use bleach to lighten it. Lucky me. Now if only I could lose more weight and have an awesome body for my nice hair and pretty face :p also.... I totally dig beaver jokes lol.

Tempest - well aren't you just a doll. I joined a theatre company when I was 12. I did that for a few years but then when I moved to a city it was harder to get into a group especially when I had to take the bus. Chicago is my return to the stage after a 10 year hiatus. I think I like the idea of being someone else and having people accept that.

Alright here goes. Its Monday night, and I haven't weighed myself since Sunday morning. I hit 210.5 but that was before second family dinner and some junk food. This weekend was crazy, not crazy busy but just full of boyfriend time.

Saturday evening was fine. I already knew 2 of his cousins and his sister so I kind of hid, in the living room with them. After supper his mom asked me if I was coming for supper the next day. I said that Mike  had not mentioned it and she said that she hadn't said anything to him yet. Lol. After family supper we went back to Mike's place and we spent the evening watching the last few episodes of Game of Thrones that I hadn't seen yet. He lent me a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and a sweater so I didn't have to wear my skirt. I ended up falling asleep on him on the couch at like 1130 so we went to bed early.

Sunday morning we got up and went to chicken chef for breakfast actually not breakfast lol. By the time we actually got up it was like 1 o'clock. So we had our brunch and went back to my his place until it was time to go to his parents house for supper. That night I joined him and his friends for Magic cards. It was an interesting evening. To start with, the guys house we were at was my friend Ripper's. He has 2 kids and happens to be Mike's cousin. his kids were up when we got there and they were excited to show me all their games on the iPod. And they were super excited to see Mike too. They were climbing on his lap and getting him to tickle them. It was adorable. When the kids went to bed I had a beer or 2 but I was limiting myself because I had offered to be the designated driver. Later in the evening they asked me if I wanted a hoot. I was feeling pretty good and not tipsy or anything so I decided I would... .. This was a horrible decision. It hit me so hard right away and when I went back in and we were playing cards again there was way too much noise for me. I felt so sick but not like I need to puke, like I needed to take a big poop which I hate doing at other peoples houses. Especially when there isn't a fan to run and I'm pretty sure the people in the kitchen can hear me. But I felt so horrible there was no way I couldn't. So I tried to do it as quietly as possible. I felt a little bit better after, so I went back out. Oh I should mention there also wasn't any room spray for me to cover up the smell lol. When I got back to the table, they were all trying to help me play my cards but it was too much stimulation for me. Mike looked at me and asked me if I was doing alright? I said no and that I needed to lie down. Ripper brought me to the spare room and got me a blanket and a glass of water and turned on the night light for me. Mike was so sweet he came to check on me right away and made sure that I didn't need anything. He came back every 10 minutes or so the first time was after I had coughed and he was worried that I'd thrown up or something. The next couple times he came in and rubbed my back and made sure I didn't feel bad about having to leave a game and not being able to handle the pot. I felt like an idiot. The last time he came to check on me he crawled into bed with me can rubbed my back and told me everything was okay and told me I handled it like a champ. He just kept talking to me and making me feel better. When I thanked him today for taking care of me, he said he didn't really do much. I told him that I appreciated him coming to check on me. He said that even though he didn't have to do anything , there was still care behind it. When I could finally sit up on my own, I went back to the game. They were still on the same game I had left. They played one Tier 1 game after that, and I drove Mike and Matt to their house. When we got there Mike asked Matt to grab his cards for him and came home with me. We had plans to go for breakfast with the guys we played cards with that night but since we only left the card game at like 430 in the morning we were super tired when they called at 9am. Also Mike was all grabby hands and decided he'd rather fool around than go for breakfast. We did that and napped until noon and then he suggested we go for lunch at my favourite place to have lunch in town instead of the place we usually go. :-) We went to the sandwich shop and I had a soup and a sandwich, which is my favourite thing to have for lunch. He paid, he always offers even if he doesn't have very much money, but we usually trade off who actually pays. We had walked to the sandwich shop from my house and when we went to leave he just automatically turned to walk to his house but didn't say anything like do you want to come over just started walking that way like he just assumed i was coming with him.lol. After running some errands we watched the season finale of walking dead and the season premiere of Game of Thrones and that was our whole Monday. Then he went to pool and I went to rehearsal.

I totally did not expect him to spend so much time with me this weekend but it was super comfortable and relaxing. I kept expecting him to tell me he needed space and wanted me to go home. I'm super paranoid like that. Also I was texting with Ripper before a we went to his house to game, and he mentioned that Mike's grandpa had called me his girlfriend. I told him that things were definitely official and that we had a talk about it. Funny thing is, he said Mike referred to me as his girlfriend before I even mentioned it to him. So apparently the whole time I was questioning it and worrying, he was already calling me his girlfriend. Boys are dumb lol.

In other news, my roommate actually moved out. She left behind some stuff because it apparently didn't fit in the truck; like her keyboard and it's stand and her bed frame, which is just 1 of those metal frames that comes apart and fold down pretty flat. I told her it has to be out by next weekend because my family is coming to visit and they're going to stay in that room. She agreed but technically she should have had all her shit out by today since it's April first. her excuse was that it's just so hard to move and unpack with her puppy around because he thinks its a game. She also complained but there isn't really any room for her stuff at her boyfriend's house. I had zero sympathy for her since she didn't have to move out. She could have waited until 1 of the guys moved out and there would've have been lots of space. I have to admit, I was a little short with her but what did she expect? I'm not like everybody else, I don't let her walk all over me just to get her own way.

Anyway, since I've been lazy , and by lazy I mean freakishly busy with rehearsals, I decided to do another month long challenge. Not that I made it through the last 1, but it's always good to have a goal in mind. Next weekend is Chicago, and after that I'll have all my weekend and weeknights to myself. I'll have time to go to Aquafit and swim on other days, and hit the weight room a few days a week. Also by then it'll be nice out and we can start walking around the lake again. I'm posting the April madness Calendar I found on Facebook and the 30 day squat challenge I'm going to do. Join me if you like. I only found them at rehearsal so it was too late to get my heart rate up if I wanted to sleep tonight so the April madness I'll start tomorrow, but I did do 50 squats before bed. I would love to have a nice ass this summer.

So there you have it, my boring but delightfully awesome love life and a new challenge. As I was squatting I looked over in the mirror and my thighs don't look quite as chunky as they did before. I'm expecting a higher number on the scale tomorrow because I ate crap for supper and definitely snacked on rice cake chips after rehearsal and had a beer. Those flavored rice cakes have a lot of salt in them, so I'll probably retain some water. Fingers crossed that it isn't horrible .

Love you all,
Xoxo
Nessa