Boxing Day

I type this from an empty house in sweat pants... A couple of good days binging under my belt... ugh. Tonight there's a social I'm supposed to go to... but it doesn't seem it will be as much fun without my beau. His family left this morning at 7ish. Me lying entwined in his arms until I forced him to get up and get dressed, lest he keep his parents waiting. I said "miss you", he said "miss you too". I managed not to cry when he left the room, and snuggled deeper into the bed. Good thing because he snuck back upstairs for another goodbye kiss and I would have felt terrible if I had made him feel guilty. Last night at my apartment before we came back to his house he sounded sad when he said "I guess I have to go home and pack" and when I asked him why he sounded sad he said he didn't want to leave me. *sigh* Of the two weeks off I have for Christmas break, I got to spend Christmas with him, and then we'll have a Sunday off at the same time. Bugger. Oh well. :( Still sucks a little. Next Christmas will be better, he promised. Pretty sure he's keeping me around.

My concerts were splendid. Billy cooked me supper on the Monday (he had the day off) and made sure that when I lay down for a nap, I was up in time to make it back to the school. He is such a doll. I think he stayed over that night... but it happens so often one way or the other I stopped keeping track. Wednesday's concert was a little more stressful. 6 more classes than the Monday night one, and the work I do is far less appreciated. At the monday concert, the band teacher and I were presented with large bouquets of flowers from the principal as a thank you for all the work we do. Wednesday... I got complaints like "you know you're standing in front of them right?" ...ummm lady that's my frickin' job. Even worse, the complaint only came from 2 people; the lady whose maternity leave i'm filling and her best fucking friend. I'm almost certain she was mad or jealous that the kids sounded great. Billy came over after he was done work and we snuggled and watched a movie.

So far the holiday season has been alright. Christmas eve we went to his cousin's after he was done work (who has to work on Christmas eve???) Had dinner there. It was a little strange because I teach his cousin's kids and they're little and can't understand (their mom thinks) the concept of their music teacher dating their cousin. Went to his Aunt and Uncles after that was all said and done. Met his grandmother, she's a wee bit crazy and starting to get dementia. Apparently she's always been a rude woman though. Christmas morning we slept in, had a good snuggle in the morning and opened gifts. I got a beautiful pair of mukluks. Just what I wanted :D Went to his "other mother's" for supper (on a whim) and then came back here.

This morning when I finally dragged my ass out of bed at 10:30 I went to Walmart to buy a PS3 because they were majorly on sale for boxing day. He'll pay me back when he gets home, but for now I get to play PS3 and mope while he's gone. Which brings me to ... the plan. While he is gone this is my plan:

• Get drunk only tonight and New Years Eve while he's gone. (I don't have the money to anyway, since I bought a ps3... lol).
• Eat only 2 meal replacement shakes and one other meal a day. The other meal but be only raw fruit and/or vegetables
• Do pilates EVERY morning. I'll have to go back to my apartment to do this. There isn't really any room here.
• Walk at least every other day.
• And part of me wants to try doing p90x again since i'm not nearly as large as the last time I did it...but that might be over extending myself.    baby steps. 

I'm pretty sure he is fine with me the way I am, but won't he be surprised when he comes back and I'm a couple of pounds lighter? yes. yes he will. surprised and impressed. Though let's be honest.. I'm just going to screw/blow his brains out when he comes home anyway...

Weight wise... I weighed myself christmas eve morning (before the days of binging). I was down to 188. So i lost the cheese weight and then some. This is my chance to reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally bring it on. No distractions. I'll bring a tin of shake stuff here so I don't have any excuse. NO JUNK FOOD, NO LARGE EXTRAVAGANT MEALS, NO PIZZA, NO NOTHING. Water, diet pop and tea to fill in the gaps. I WILL REMAIN IN CONTROL WHILE HE IS AWAY so that I can become the dainty little thing who can perch on his knee and not feel self conscious about it. So i can wear clothes that make him go "wow" without me having to worry about popping out. This will work. It has to. I need it to.

Love you all dollies. Hope your holidays are going well.
XOXO Nessa