Food Today:
B - Protein Shake
L - 1/4 cup chopped up chicken, with a little bit of roasted red pepper soup over it and 2 slices of toast (that's my attempt to get back to real food)
S - 1 bowl of broccoli soup and 2 more slices of toast.
Hoory for being back to normal meal periods, instead of "eating whenever the pain subsides long enough for me to attempt to inhale some soup or chicken" or just periodically eating ice cream and popsicles.
Weighed myself this morning. 215.2. Down .4 and that's still not having a proper poop!
THE NEXT MORNING 213.9 Haaaaaaaaaaaaleluiah! Laxies for the win.
Tonight my body decided it was time to end this constipation nonsense. It was like I'd taken laxatives... but I hadn't. So of course I took some anyway, just to make sure we get everything out. I've been drinking water like a mother fucker all day. I had to have had at LEAST 4 litres at school alone. I've had such a friggen dry mouth every night around 10:30. NO MORE. Or at least I hope not. Oh.... still a little bit of dry mouth. God these posts stretch out for like a whole night for me (or days... lol).
Alright. So update. Clayton came over on Thursday and Friday and just slept next to me. It was great. I had been afraid to sleep because I thought I'd bleed out. Then he called me at a decent hour on Sunday and I went out with him to hang out with his friend and his friends girlfriend. The guys had a few beer. Clayton was super sweet, sitting next to me on the couch and pulling me up to two step in the kitchen when a good song came on.He figures I'm his 75% girlfriend now... with 25% being time when he's being retarded. (which let me tell you, is more like 75% of the time... but I digress) We went back to my place after and fell asleep watching The Notebook (his choice) with my head on his chest and his arms around me. These are the moments that are the reason I let him keep coming back. I miss have anybody care about me like that so badly that I don't even care if it's fleeting. In the morning I drove him to his parents place. He doesn't have his truck..... long story. He says thank you for coming with me and letting me stay with you and I'll call you ok? I say, really, keep in touch. For real this time. He nods. He went back to his camp job that afternoon..... and of course that was Monday morning. It is now Friday night (or Saturday morning because I didn't finish this last night). Do you think I've heard from him? NO. (he'll have some totally logical sounding excuse/reason like I left my phone charger at home and decided to just wait until I got home from camp, or my phone fell in the lake <that actually happened to him this summer. It's common up here>) This might sound like a shitty position to be in, but it's a good pattern to have right now, as much as it fucks with my heart and my emotions. I get so wrapped up in him when he's around, that I think, hey. Maybe I won't go to the UK. Maybe I'll just stay here and be with him. And if he could manage to ya know... text me back, or call me within a couple days of leaving town (since he seems to be doing alright when he's in town now) or be consistent in any way, maybe I would just let myself get completely enamoured with him. But no. He comes around, everything is great, he's attentive and makes me feel loved. Then he fucks off. And I still feel a little bit of love for him. And all it takes is a phone call or a text and I'm right back in the thick of it. No. He knows I'm leaving. I'm friggin leaving. In 7 months, I'm getting on a plane with 2 suitcases living amongst the Brits for hopefully a year (if I don't get ridiculously homesick before then). This is going to happen.
So that was Monday. Monday afternoon I felt awful. Tuesday even worse. By Wednesday I was like WTF and OMG I"M IN SO MUCH PAIN. But I had a drs apt on Thursday for my post-op check up, so I just held it together (barely) until then. I saved my last 4 hydromorphone pills for in the mornings, since that's when the pain was most intense, and spent the rest of the days taking obscene amounts of ibuprofen and acetaminophen (advil and tylenol) together every 2 hours. .... Doc looks in my throat. Oh. There's some infection. And he gives me t3's. I've taken like 4 or 5 out of the 56 pill bottle and I don't reeeeeeeeeeeeeally need them anymore, unless I'm teaching because it hurts to talk too much. Within half an hour of my first antibiotic pill I'm like a totally different person. It still hurts, but now just where my tonsils actually came out at the back of my throat and only when i swallow, especially any kind of actual foods. My ears no longer burn, and my tongue is far less swollen. Gezus. My friend Sarah was like "didn't they give you any antibiotics after your surgery?". Nope. And I was thinking, it's not like you can keep shit from getting in there. Every time I breathe, whatever's in the air goes past it, and everything i eat/drink goes past this surgical site. You would never rub food/popsicles/ice cream/soup/gum saliva onto any other post-surgical wound. Why wouldn't they give antibiotics? whatever, I feel a bajillion times better now!!
Also, there's this guy who has been messaging me of facebook. A few people recently added me, that I've seen around town, but never talked to, but I let them stay on my friends list anyway. One of the guys just started chatting me up on fb chat. He is in no way attractive to me, like at all. My ball team played against his a couple time this summer. Anyway, it's been pretty casual get-to-know-you kind of conversation for a few days now. I'm pretty sure he's interested in hanging out at some point, he's been kinda dropping hints that it's coming. I dunno what to say? If he asks me to a party I'll go. I can always use more friends and there are a couple people he's pretty good friends with that I know fairly well but haven't ever spent any time with. But if he asks me out in a date situation, I'm just going to say I'm leaving in August and really am not looking to date right now, as it would majorly complicate things. He has a weak chin . . . I hate weak chins. Though he's not as unattractive as his best friend. His best friend looks like he got kicked by a horse. LMAO. I wish I could post a picture without feeling guilty.... Anyway apparently he's a really nice guy, just not that smart. Hasn't said anything to actually lol at yet. I like to be able to have at least some intellectually stimulating conversation. Even Clayton has the ability to do that, and he makes me laugh all the time. *sigh* Stupid Clayton. Anyway, I asked Hollee where all the attractive men in this town are.... she said not here. Hahahahaha.. Kinda true.
It's all good. I don't need to be with someone. It just keeps me occupied, and fulfils that ridiculous sex drive of mine. Gr. If only Ripper were single, he'd be like the perfect fuck buddy candidate. He's super discrete, and wouldn't judge my wobbly bits. In all the time I've been here he's never really had a gf, and now some girl he used to date and him are back together and he's trying to be serious about it... but her teeth. I just can't get over her teeth.(I couldn't find a picture of her with her mouth open)
OK fuck it. I'm posting pictures.
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| Guy who has been talking to me is on the right. On the left is his best friend. This is a flattering picture of both of them |
XOXO Nessa
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