My life as per usual

A fucking whirlwind.... Such is my life! It's way more exciting that way! Also, hello new followers :) As per my style, I started this post yesterday... and am finishing it a bunch of hours later. :P

Sorry the sound is soooo quiet and unclear on this vlog... Not really sure why that happened? I'm using the webcam I usually use.  ALSO --- MADISON I wrote a transcript for you for this vlog, because you are awesome and I always feel bad that you can't watch them. :( I don't know how often I'll do a transcript, apparently I cover a lot of ground in 15 minutes lol. I will email it to you... so you should read that email, and then return to said blog to read the rest of the blog. Oh gosh, that was really commanding of me :P Sooooooo sorry lol.

I should mention that I actually had a frigging cigarette after the events of Thursday evening.. and I don't smoke. Annnnnnd so ooooo. Friday night eh? Yeah hhahaha. New boy came here, and we had some drinks and listened to music and played cribbage. Partially by camping light because the power went out in the storm. He crashed here. Great sex ensued... and then again in the morning. The morning was bittersweet because he's going to help his friend move after work, in another town, and i'm leaving on Sunday. He was all "this is probably the last time I'll see you until September". I said "that really sucks". Arg. We kind of have plans together. He is supposed to take me golfing when i get back.He has assured me he will turn me into a golfer... and then there's the marathon/run thingy-ma-jigger in October... Oh wow. Look at us making future plans... oh god. this is going to turn into a relationship. SHIT. Not that I don't want one. I just have a habit of jumping from one to the next. Although normally I bounce between polar opposites... and new boy is just him. I have not once found myself comparing him to anyone. He just is who he is. He says he will miss me while I'm gone, and keep the movie watching position open (previously when i said he'd have to find a replacement for me, he said he'd get a substitute). I said I would do the same. Well I suppose that solves my dilemma. No casual sex for me. Also, I went for coffee with Kevin the ea, and got his perspective on the sitch. Nobody else needs to know anything for now. Flin Flon is like a fucking rumour mill on steroids... Kevin is not in the mill, so he is safe. Ooo and he brought me back a magnet from Norway! Random I know.

Progress pictures will have to wait... I have to fucking trim them and make them fit the size I was using before so they don't throw off the groove...

Until next time lovelies. :) XOXO

Oh and here's some thinspo as a thank you for putting up with my long vlogs :D

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Hey bliggety-blog.  I’m getting smart with my limited dial up hours. My internet won’t be connected until the 29^th uuuuuuuuuuuuugh but I called and apparently I get 10 hours of free dial up with my plan. ... I’ve already burned through 5 of those hours. I might have to up my plan for the extra $10 this month I’ll get another 20 hours of dial up. It just takes sooo much longer to do the things I would normally do. Sorry I haven’t been reading or commenting. I’m a bad blog friend. BUT I appreciate your comments!! 5 days until internets arrive....

Not much new. I’m still fat. I went for a jog on Friday morning. It was rough, seeing as I’ve not gone for a whole week now. I was thinking about doing an extra day of week 3, but instead I think I will just go hardcore and start week 4 tomorrow... This week I’ll be on 3min jog/walk 90 seconds/ 5 min jog/90 second walk/5 minute jog/cool down walk. OMG I”M GOING TO DIE... the 3 minutes in week 4 went by quickly ... but RUNNING for 5 minutes. Shoot me now. I know that in the end I’ll be – in theory at least – able to run for 30 minutes straight, but it seems like such a stretch right now.

Since I’ve gotten back up here roomie hasn’t even talked to me L I tried to go over and say hi but she said she was busy. I was going to go get the groceries I left at her place, and she brought them over instead and left them on my door knob. I asked her if there was anything going on this weekend (party wise) she said nope, just work. ... but then “Daddy” called me on Friday night after the bar, where roomie was also partying. grr. I did not give him the nick name “Daddy” by the way, I don’t know how he got it. I refuse to use it... but I will for the purposes of this blog. Saves me the trouble of making one up. Anyway, Daddy texted me on Friday asking where I was, and saying he was at the bar not having any fun. I asked if he was inviting me to the bar? He said he was just leaving. I ask him straight up “why don’t you tell me exactly what you want?” He asks if I want to come over for a bit. I’m “busy” sewing garb for Gimli (SCA camping event) so I say sure! I’m not sure exactly to expect. I mean he seems to text me when he’s drunk.... and it’s kinda flirty, but I’m not physically attracted to him in any way. ... So I go over under the pretence that we’ll end up watching a movie. Turns out we have a lot in common and we get along really well. He offered me vodka and diet. Oooo a man who offers me diet soda with my alcohol.. I can’t resist lol.  So we watch a movie, he actually had a pretty impressive movie collection, quite a few that I really love, like quality shit! So he’s kinda funny (despite the fact that he’s not physically attractive to me) and a little bit charming. He fills me in on the night I couldn’t sit up straight. Yeah, that party where I drank butter ripple schnapps straight during a drinking game that was at his house. Apparently he was talking about how he was looking for someone to hold at said party... and I shoved my ass onto him and asked him if he would hold me like that... then said omg I’m not usually like this, don’t judge me. Yup, that sounds like me haha. Then I went back to the basement and was rubbing some other guy’s leg.... wtf. I don’t remember any of this. He asked me who I went home with that night, and I told him nobody, and that I’m not really that kind of girl. I also mentioned that despite me being moderately attractive, there don’t seem to be a lot of prospects so far. He tells me to stop saying that, and that I’m doing myself a disservice when I say that. He seems surprised that I went home alone (I would also be surprised based on my actions), he’s even more surprised that I’ve only slept with 3 guys. He says he feels bad like he’s taking advantage of me... not really lol. It’s not his fault I’ve been in relationships for 7 years. Yeah, I slept with him. It was alright.  He’s a bit chunky which was a total turnoff, though apparently I’m pretty fantastic, and my anatomy ummm “down there” is extremely pleasurable.... and then woke up at 5:30 in the morning. Aaand because I’m not sure what standard protocol is, I sneak out of his house. Ah! I thought about texting him apologizing for leaving, giving him some bs excuse like I had an early morning run scheduled? I didn’t run. I came home and binged all day. Today I went to get groceries, and he called. I left my scarf there. I’ll have to swing by and grab it sometime this week... I’ll try to bring cookies or something delightful so that I’m not left a total outcast in Flin Flon. The only people I know that roomie knows are connected to “Daddy”. If I fuck this up, I can pretty much never go to a party without it being awkward ever again. I’m fairly certain that he won’t be as tight lipped about this as I will be, so  some kind of bribe and an apology are in order. Eesh. Why did I let that happen? Oh I know.. I was lonely. Lol. From now on I only sleep with guys that make me wanna have wild animal sex with them (that’s just Sax guy as of right now by the way).

In other news... just when I thought sax guy was totally ignoring me, he says hello on facebook. Gah. WHY MUST YOU TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS.... ? Seriously, my heart does a little flutter when he pops up in my news feed.... Whatever. There is very little potential there, other than the odd casual sex when I’m in the city (which by the way, is so far the best sex I’ve had post relationship... omg. Orgasm = yummy, and an orgasm that someone puts some effort into equals even more yummy)

So since I’ve been single I’ve started reconnecting with all kinds of people from high school. Kinda nice. Another guy said hi to me on facebook chat last night (also a sax player... hmmm. What is it with them?) soooo sax guy 2 and I are talking about life and the last few years since we’ve run into each other. He tells me he had a pretty big crush on me in high school. I’m pretty sure I knew this after high school, but in high school I was tooootally unaware. He says we should get coffee the next time I’m in the city. Of course I’m so agreeable, I say sure J He was surprised. But I guess I would feel the same way if there was a guy I had a crush on all the way through high school who agreed to go for coffee with me. I don’t think I ever really had a crush on any boy that I didn’t date, and if I didn’t date them, my crush had either already fizzled or I convinced myself it would never happen... Lucky me I guess lol.

Gah. Why is it so hard to get back on the workout train? I’m doing crunches right now watching The Devil Wears Prada. I also did some squats and back lifts. Tomorrow I will run like I’ve never fucking run before. Literally, because I’ve never run for 5 minutes straight ever lol. Today I was supposed to run but I decided to make it a laxie day instead... Plus I like the Monday Wednesday Friday running schedule. Leaves a little wiggle room for days I miss or shift over. That’s me planning for laziness.

Man I’m a boy crazy lady... anybody else think the smart guy from “Numbers” the tv show (or is it just a Canadian show?) is cute? I had the biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggest crush on him in The Santa Clause as “Bernard”. Tee hee. I love nerds. I’m a little sad that I didn’t get to game while I was in the city. My nerd friends are pretty frickin’ hot! And I love the attention I get from them. A little flirty, sometimes risque, all of which would be heightened now that I'm single. I'm such an attention whore. Maybe that's why I want to be skinny... more attention. Probably. Oh that and I think I'm gross right now haha.

Anyway... the north is driving me fucking crazy. I don't have any friends and i don't have any money.  Gah. My bestie in the city offered to let me stay with her for a month before school starts... I'm seriously considering coming into town a week before the Baronial camping event. Maybe re-try the date thing with nice-arms... more clear signals. Perhaps chill with sax guy? I don't know. Men are stupid... but they have penis-es and therefore I cannot resist their sexual potential. Maybe I'm trying to fill this little lonely part of my soul with dicks? Sound sad? Well don't feel sorry for me!! I don't feel bad about it at all. :D Just think... only a week ago I'd only slept with 2 people. In a week I've doubled that! I'm a machine. Think of all that I can accomplish this summer?

All moved in :)

But no internet... :( I'm at one of my schools right now checking email and blogging. Clearly I didn't get a chance to make another vlog before packing. My help showed up bright and early and it was go go go all day. I'll have to go to the coffee shop to look at my eharmony matches and log in to facebook chat. Both of those sites are blocked at school. Oh, by the way: HELLO NEW FOLLOWERS! Wow. Am I still generating interest? Cool!

Alright. I gained 5 pounds while in Winnipeg..... Could have been (and I was expecting) much worse. There is a little food in my house right now... so of course I'm binging and finishing it all.... then tomorrow meal replacement shakes until those are gone too.... then nothingness/water fast (first one ever!)! I'm behind a week in my jogging, but it's currently soooo fucking rainy out that I just want to sit on my couch and watch tv. Yes. I have a tv now!!!!

Ok. The weekend went fairly well. Monday I discovered that the majority of the people in the Barony are poly-amorous... and got invited to participate in a 3-some, which would have been scary. The dude is larger, like a big teddy bear, and the chic is actually a S&M mistress.... I would have been terrified the whole time. I told him (he was the only person to show up to help me move) that I'd only had 3 lovers... and I'm kinda shy/inexperienced sex wise. He said that he was sure the Barony/SCA would remedy that for me. Hahaha. Apparently the previous King (previously mentioned on my blog) has a "squire" who is tall, toned and has a big dick, and he frequently sends his squire to service the women of the kingdom. HOT lol.

So big teddy bear man and I are done packing up, we go for a beer, I get tipsy off of one haha. Thanks to the heat, being dehydrated, underfed, and having my period. I go to take a nap before my evening date, then realize I have NO furniture... so I sleep on my back on the living room floor, using my hoody for a pillow. Hahaha. Alright. So I meet "nice arms" (thanks Mich and MissMuffit for the nick name idea) and we're talking and he's making me laugh, like legitimately, not just the flirty "laughing" I do in front of men folk to make them feel good about themselves. After dinner (and a few drinks) we go back to his place. Holy shit, he lives on the penthouse floor... he has a 1 bedroom apartment and it spans 2 floors. ... there is also a balcony on each floor. :D We smoked up and things were going pretty well, until I started to get sick... and oh man did I get sick. I threw up in his main floor bathroom... like violently. And ya know what's even fucking scarier??? While I was throwing up there was LITERALLY a voice in my head saying "that's right, get it all out. Keep going because you ate before dinner (even though I hadn't). And you ate yesterday so you should probably keep throwing up". I had the fucking weirdest trip ever. No more mixing booze and ganja for me. For a while I thought my Mom's spirit was trying to be part of me (possibly true. Miss you Mom <3. Would it be weird if I wished my late Mother's spirit would posses me when I'm stoned?), then I felt like everything was too familiar and every time I threw up (2 grand occasions) I felt like I was throwing up memories. Then I realized like an hour into the visit that nobody knew that I was out with him... then I started to get paranoid that he was going to kill me.... Really??? WTF. He's one of the nicest guys I knew in high school, genuinely caring and just got out of a long relationship too. Pretty much in the same boat as me, also, did I mention he's a super nice guy? Who did I go to crying about Garren in high school? Nice-arms. Who sat with me when my Mom was diagnosed and I was crying hysterically? Well everyone I knew, but he was definitely in that group, occasionally taking one-on-one shifts. Unfortunately he was also pretty good friends with Garren, and parents don't tend to like the boy you unhealthily obsess over, and in turn don't want you partying/spending late nights with him or his friends, no matter how many other girls were there. So we didn't get to know each other that well until after high school when we started camping at Folk Fest together. Which by the way, remember that festival that dum-dum got my pass to this summer? Nice-arms broke up with his gf 2 weeks before the fest and had an extra pass lol. Fuck I could have gone. Oh well. Anywho... right. Date!  So after I puke once and then I'm sitting on the couch watching Billy Madison with Nice-arms, clinging to the towel i requested... (i need a better nick name for him lol) I start freaking out... that he's going to rape me? Or think that I want to rape him if I ask if I can stay the night, cuz ya know, I don't have any furniture.... even though he has like 3 couches and a futon. No expectations if I don't put them there, but I'm trippin' balls. So I start babbling about being worried I'm coming off as a slut if I ask to stay the night and he calms me down and says that's why he has so many couches!! haha. So he flips the futon down and says "I know you're not looking for anything, but this futon really isn't that comfortable and I have a queen sized bed upstairs. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable but it really would be a better sleep." So I agree (OF COURSE I WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU, YOU'RE FUCKING SEXY, AND NICE AND INDEPENDENT AND {he has a really good job}, FUN, AND RIDICULOUSLY SMART). So we get to the stairs.. and I get up like 2 stairs and my brain fills with memories that I need to puke out (does that make sense?). So I go back down the stairs to the washroom. He brings my towel (aw). I finally finish. I decide the memories are all gone and if they start to come back I will let them be fresh memories (still not making sense right?). So I get up to the bedroom... and crawl into bed. Remove bra and shorts, and snuggle up next to him. He was laying in a position that facilitated spooning... so I just assumed I was a welcome addition. Of course, this is my way of saying "oh god you're sexy and I totally wanna fuck you". He is a gentleman and doesn't overstep any boundaries, plus I have my period. There is a little groping, and the standard pressing that happens when two people who are equally sexually attracted to each other and spooning (though at this point I was probably more attracted to him than him to I considering he'd already heard me throw up violently in his bathroom twice). He says "for someone that isn't looking for anything right now, you sure are sending out some mixed signals". I just say "I know right?". UGH. I'm an idiot lol. In the morning, I get up at like 10 and he's already been "at work" for a few hours. He has a higher position in the company... and is a fucking genius so he just remote accesses to work. He sent an email "working from home this morning" end of story. No questions asked. Oh god. I hope he wants to see me again the next time I'm in the city. I can't have completely turned him off, he did text me to see if I made it to Flin Flon alright. :P I think I'll send him a Facebook message while I'm at the coffee place apologizing for my abhorring behaviour. I don't want to do it through a text message because I know how turned off I get when I guy does that. Like fuck off lol.

Anywho. Flin Flon is a little boring in comparison. :P I hired 2 youth workers through the government employment program... one of them who is 17 started texting me right away after he called about the job, asking if I wanted a bf and shit .... Like NO little boy, I don't wanna be your sugar mamma. Get your own fucking money. So I reschedule them to come earlier so he doesn't have time to talk to me anymore. ... He assumes I'm coming to pick them up. UGH That is NOT how casual labour works. I tell you where to be and when and you be there. So I pick them both up, and they carry all the heavy shit (I'd already unloaded half the u-haul myself) some of the time I have to instruct them how to do it... and a couple times I have to step in to do it myself because I apparently have more muscles then these little wieners. Then after, little boy keeps texting me.... I ignore him after a little while. I'm busy re-acquainting myself with TV thank you very much. Later he texts me asking if I could do him a favour and buy him some chewing tobacco. I ask him if he thinks I'm willing to lose my job over some chew for him? Later yet ye texts me asking if I could give him a ride to Creighton and back...... WTF. I tell him we don't need to be friends. He was hired help. And ask him what he's expecting out of this? That shut him up. :P Little boys, be forewarned. I'M A BITCH, but it seems to work for me, so I have zero intentions to change!

Anywho, I'm behind on blogs. I've read a couple and commented on a couple, my apologies. I will try to not completely drown in them so that when my internet hook-up guy comes on the 29th I won't be too far behind.

Love and hugs and kisses. <3
Nessa

Sunday with the family (vlog time)

Sunday vlog comin' at cha! Not much to read today, I'm just going to babble at you a bit :)

Oh and this is the guy I am going out with tomorrow evening: I blurred his face because at the moment I respect him and do not which to rub his face around the internet. The last time I saw him ... he was very fat. :)

Lame date

Hi all,

Still don't know how much I weigh.... scale is still in Flin Flon. I considered taking off all my clothes and weighing myself at cello guys apartmnet/dorm room... but that would be a weird thing to do on a first date.

Alright. How did the date go you ask? LAME. He totally monopolized conversation, which I'm ok with but it was soooo boring. Like I felt like we'd been standing in his room talking for 40 minutes... and it had only been 20. I just didn't feel anything. On the way to sushi, I tried to force my brain to find him sexy... but he carried a fricken' murse around with us... it was pretty much a verticle fanny pack. REALLY? I offered to put it inside my ginormous purse. He declined, saying he likes to cary his stuff. He must have felt it was going alright, because we went for ice cream afterwards. (90000035353 calories later...). Then we went back to drink wine and watch Venture Brothers. Which I find hilarious, but his laugh was just soooooo feminine.. turn-off. That and he moved at the fucking pace of a snail. Like 4 episodes in and he asks if I want to switch spots on the couch... 2 more episodes and he asks if I "would be interested in a backrub or something". He finally gets me between his legs... and then gives me this massage, which was the equivalent to what my massage therapist does.. but without any massage oil. After the next episode I say "oi. I'm sleepy" and he says "me too" and before he can mention anything else.. i say "I think I'm going to go home and get some shut eye". hahahahahaha. Then what do i do? I text muscles and ask him how his night is going. I spend the next hour flittering around the south end of the city, getting gas, pulling over to text message. He says they're going to grind on chics at the bar. I tell him I don't care so long as I get a piece of that delicious ass on Saturday night. :D (I'm really classsy). At 2am he texts me asking if he can come over... he's drunk. He wants to fuck me... I tell him I have a family thing I have to wake up for. (also my apartment is in fucking shambles and my period had it's little one day thingy to let me know it's coming... bad for casual sex lol). He says he'll text me tomorrow (today) after they're done golfing and tells me which bar they're going to as if it were his suggestion (i'm good at making them think that). Then he texts me saying he can't wait to grind up on me and (insert comment too dirty for the internet). :P Hahahaha. Woke up at 6:00am... fucking chipmunk outside my window. Now I'm trying to pack and make my apartment presentable so that if bestie comes to pre-game here it's not a disaster... and of course I don't want muscles to think I live in a pig sty.

Ooooo. Funny story. I was texting with a boy I dated in high school (one with an ego the size of an elephant's schlong.....). Why do my ex's keep popping up? Drummer guy just moved in a 10 minute walk from my place haha. Anywho, he is taking a summer course that ended up being my major (music for young children) and it started with him asking for advice. He asked what my weekend plans were, I told him he should come dancing. He's always fun at the club. He texts me "bow chica wow wow".... and then says that was to the wrong person. I ask if he thinks he's going to bow chica wow wow me...he says "well yeah". I tell him good luck, he'd better bring his a-game. He has stiff competition. Hahahahah. He says "I'm not competetive" I say good luck then. :D

Monday I have a date with an actual charmer from high school. :D He recently lost 70 pounds!! and tooooooooned the fuck up!! I told him to update his facebook picture.... he snapped one and emailed it to me instead. I was like "whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. That is not the same person I saw last time!". Haha. So far our text conversations have been interesting. I wonder if he'll try anything while we're out? Drinks and app's :D (more calories I shouldn't consume). Good thing I can't afford groceries at the moment.

As for today, today is my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary party!! My aunt from the states is up, and I can't wait to see the whole fam dam... which I was informed this morning was an archaic term... the correct one is apparently Fam Jam... stupid twitter lol.

Anywho. It's 7:20 am and I've only packed half a box so far... so I'd better get on that!!!
Love you ladies lots and lots. XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXO :P XO (that was a sloppy kiss at the end.... a pre-cursor for what I hope happens tonight... i'm a slut haha)

In the citaaaaaaaaay

Hello Lovelies (because you are ALL lovely...I totally got laid last night)

I have no idea how much I currently weigh.... I've been eating 2-3 times a day and being picky about it, but I don't want to buy groceries here, because I'll just end up having to move them. Erg. My scale is in Flin Flon, so that doesn't help. I fit a size 11 at Smart Set today. That hasn't happened in forever!! I don't think it's so much weight loss at this point as toning up. I was supposed to go for a run today.. but I might push it to tomorrow, which would push run 3 to Sunday. Ugh.

Alright, thanks for your comments!!!

Cinnamon Brown: I've always dated musicians...and woodwind players definitely kiss different than brass players lol. Percussionists kiss without any sort of structure. Just everywhere lol.

Rio: Baaahahah. Hookin. My friend and I discussed the possibility of me moving to a big city and becoming an escort. (Miss Muffit, the idea totally came from you). Lol. I kinda missed this, having many men. I ALWAYS had numerous tales of different men/dating when i wasn't in a monogomous relationship. Life is way more exciting with stories to tell haha, but you can live vicariously through me, that's cool too!

Miss Muffit: NOT 5K straight!! It's a program that gradually gets you to 5k runs. I'm on week 3 of like 9 hahah. Because I'm lazy and keep re-starting.

Britni: I'm listening to the "Chubby Jones" podcasts. They're free on iTunes.

Elle: Men definitely provide a different kind of entertainment, that's certain lol.

Worst birthday ever. 

Glad it's over. :(

Sax guy update: The band got an offer to do this reality tv show in Toronto... and they have to decide by tonight. The show is tonight. :( I'm a little bummed. I'm happy that he wanted to talk about it last night (on facebook chat , not in person). Oh wells. I told him if they go, I would add him to my list of people to visit in Toronto. This brings the list to 3 or 4. lol. The show starts at 9... they don't play until midnight. Ugh. I bought new shorts... I'm also going to wear heels! Sexy. I know. I would take a picture... but dum-dum stole my full length mirror... and my camera card... that fucker. It's ok. In return I'm going to keep his filing cabinet in exchange.

In Muscles news.... I agreed to go to the bar with him on Saturday night and said he could crash here... Then last night he has this brilliant idea that we can "hang out" both nights, Friday and Saturday... I tell him I have plans on Friday. And he says "Say hi to him for me". ... awwwww. he's jealous :P I lie and say it's girls night. He says well we could hang out for a couple of hours before I go to my friends place. (that will not happen, but he doesn't know that yet. Gotta leave him wanting it right?) What am I actually doing Friday? Cello guy is taking me OUT for dinner (sushi)! then wine and Venture Bros when we get back to his place. :) Saturday will be spent making sure my bed is usable... because it is currently not. What with it being flipped up against the wall... i'm not bitter... grumble. I slept on the fucking couch last night, and now i'm all sore in the arm area.

Sunday morning muscles will have to leave early-ish, presuming things go as planned, i'm guessing he's that kind of guy anyway. I have a massage! Massage therapist friend who has my doggy!!  Then I am going to the university for Moot. Sunday eve I'm meeting with the cohort for drinks and apps.... then i'm going to finish packing... possibly overnight Monday people are supposed to show up to help me load the u-haul.... then in the evening i have a date with a guy i was pretty good friends with in high school. drinks and appetizers. Well we called it a date, but nothing romantic. Just two recently single people catching up. :)

I should probably be slightly concerned about pregnancy right? But I'm not..... Sax guy and I used a condom. I'm not on the pill... I have a dr.s appointment August 9. I wasn't really anticipating actually getting laid this weekend. OOps.... Anywho. Will update when more exciting things happen.

BAZINGA!

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a gong show.....

Woke up at 180.6 this morning. I feel like it might be muscle from running hard this week (i mean finally moving past week 1 of couch to 5k....) I don't feel like my pants are tighter so this is a bonus :D

Ok, first things first. I really want to do a vlog again... maybe I'll go to my new apartment and do one? Oh wait, I don't have internets there hahaha. Ok. Here goes.

EPIC FAIL.
So I recorded one vlog... then roomie came out of her room so i abruptly stopped. Then I recorded 2 ridiculously long videos with movie maker at my new apartment to get  a whole bunch of info in at once, like the whole story of sax guy etc. .... but they were going to take 2 hours each to upload..... so i started to record a third, hopefully more concise video... but again, roomie was home. It's so much easier to record right onto youtube. Oh well. Now I'm waiting for the stupid 125 minutes to pass so i can start uploading  the next one....  Woot! Part one down... only 48 minutes for part 2!

Part One:

Part Two:

 And who do you think kept texting muscles after the video was over?.... me. I'm a bad person... Turns out he's going to the big city this weekend as well. We might go dancing.  I'm bringing my girlfriend as a safety net. She is unimpressed with my decision, as is everyone else in real life... except Gerard. He would never judge me. Greg doesn't know (obviously) and would freak out if he knew I offered crash space to muscles..... So many men. WTF. Oh and the gentleman who just finished his reign as King in my Kingdom (SCA/nerd stuff here) is hitting on me on Fbook chat..... Not a bad person to have on your side in the society. I need to start being a little bit more careful, or I could end up in an awkward situation lol. His Grace (King guy) would never do anything, especially if it made a lady uncomfortable or he would never have made it to King. So weekend plans? Not go home tomorrow night because Greg will be at the apartment, apparently having people over for dinner, crash at Bestie's. Next day, errands, coffee with a girlfriend, then at night chill with sax guy *swooooon*. .... after that.. packing. Bleh. Maybe a movie night with cello guy (guy I've been attracted to forever, though i think it will be a snuggly kind of night). He's a sweet heart, and a big teddy bear. I'm just going to keep filling that empty part of my heart with the affection of different men... hey look! That's nothing new! I was doing that my whole relationship with Greg. ... BAZINGA!

BAM

Who is 177.3 this mornig? I AM!!! Can i make it to 175 before the weekend? Perhaps. 175 would put me into the "overweight" category rather than the "obese" one I've been living in... and previous to that the morbidly obese category. Things are really happening for me!!!!!! I'll try to do some progress pictures to put on my page but the rear view will be hard because i don't have a camera anymore. Also, I don't have a tape measure here... so I'll have to grab one from the dollar store. I'm curious to know where the inches have come off.

Anywho, just a quick post for now. I really need to clean my room.... ugh disaster zone. Oh well I need something to keep me from thinking about sax guy.... what did that mean? 110 →♥   %??????

New apartment

110 →♥%

Alright. Last night was interesting..... I was talking to Muscles last night... and he said something about his place, and i said "ooo, your place?" and he was all "no no... not my place. we can't go to my place" and of course then my brain started thinking and i asked him the inevitable...... do you have a gf? AND OF COURSE HE DOES. That fucker. I mean I can't really be too too angry because I had a fiance when we met, but I took the realization I was unhappy with it and ended it..... Gah. I don't know. On the one hand, it's not my place to care... on the other hand I've fucking been there (but at least that gentleman had the decency to break up with me). Whatever, his transmission is busted in his truck and he had to leave it in the big city for a few weeks until it's repaired/paid for repairs, so I'm fairly certain this has just petered out big time. I kinda wanna just delete him from my phone and pretend we never met......

In other news, Sax guy has been texting me on and off. Oh. there he is! I can never tell if he's annoyed by me.... but I know he's in a band doing band shit, and the driving sucks for signal. Gah. He drives me crazy. Already. Eep. Whatever, nothing can happen while we live so far apart.  I mean other than fooling around when i'm in town.... Why is HE the one that I regret. And how did he get back into my life. Whatever I feel, I'm just going to ignore it. No complications. Get in, do your job, get out. Maybe a summer romance, but that's all. This is def different than muscles. GAH. He just sent me this
"110 →♥"  followed by "%"  in the next message. I asked him what it meant... no answer. I guessed "your heart beats 110% of the time?" he lol'd and said ya, and he had to go to work. *sigh* what a puzzle.

Anywho, I got my keys to my apartment, and I made a video tour for you! I made a separate one for my family... it doesn't mention the view outside my bedroom window. Pardon my icky-ness, i had just gotten in from the beach when I was all sweaty and covered in sand, tanning oil, sunscreen and bug spray. Yuck. Sorry again.

Here it is:

And this is a link to the sumo cushion thing I was talking about putting in the living room. My roomie has one right now and they're soooo comfy lol. 

http://www.sumolounge.com/sumosac-couple.php?re=na

anywho, I'm out for the night, I think i might actually be tired enough to sleep through the night!! wish me luck!

XOXO NEsssa

longest post EVAR.

Firstly. This post is going to be sooooooooooooooooooooooo long. I've been typing into it for 2 days now. Sorry y'all.


Comments on comments on my last post:
Camille: I am NOT tall by any measure lol. I'm 5'5" but your comment was sweet. :) I like to think that I carry weight well. I was sucking in in that picture, but it doesn't make a huge difference in head on photos (for me)



Rio: :D I seriously feel like you are my home girl.

Miss Muffit:  I especially heart you :) I have lost 75 pounds so far!!! Hard to believe. I don't even look like the same person. I can't wait to be petit and sexy all the timehahahahahahah. Boys won't know what hit em' ;)

Cinnamon Brown: Don't feel bad. Now you're here and you're stuck forever in my vortex of abandoned commitments and plans not followed through on. haha. 

Child of Apathy: Glad I could inspire someone lol.

Mich: I love nerds! Piercings have a whole different set of anxieties that come with them. It was a little nerve wracking sitting on the bench... I felt a little flutter of nerves. But it was over so quickly.. plus now I feel super tough!! I'm so badass. lol

 Ok -----Remember this from my goals/rewards page?:

185 --- PARTY IN MY FRICKIN PANTS. This is how much I weighed in grade 11, and a year after my Mom died. This is the number that I promised myself I would never go beyond... and then I spiraled into a dark depression and the next time I saw my weight I was 242. Very scary 

Well, I've passed that milestone!!!! Fuckity fuck yeah! It only took like 3 months from the previous hahahah. Only 4 pounds to go before muscles sexy visit!! Oh baby. I am sooooo pumped to get some good non-committal sex. This will be a first for me... I've only ever slept with Greg and before him Gerard. He's such a cutie pie sexy piece of man meat! Plus he's a little sweet too, but not too sweet. Not like I'm going to fall in love with him. His last message was a goodnight message and it said "Love those hips and your smile. Night sexy vanessa". Yes. My body is bending to my will. When I kneel there is a small gap between my upper thighs.... hahahahahaha. Ya know what that means? POTENTIAL for the real deal. I'm so tired of my thighs touching lol.

I am feeling invincible. Today is Couch to 5k week one day 3 and IT WILL HAPPEN... even if it's 24 degrees out. I MUST RUN. Because there's a social tonight and I plan on drinking copious amounts of alcohol. I am also intending to walk most places today. I need to walk down to main street (1.6km) to see Kevin sing on the stage there (Kevin is a friend I met through roomie, he was an EA (educational assistant) in my AM Kindergarten class), then I have to from there to my school to let someone in to grab the electric keyboard (4.0km). I'm going to get my couch to 5k in on that leg :) The actual running part will probably only last about 2 km (that's what I've been getting done this week), so the remaining 2 km will be walking (the running part went for 3k!). :D. Then the 3.2km walk back to Kat's place. I might drive to Wal-mart to get pair of shorts aiag#@%JAGLHAGwt925. Fucking fat legs, it's gonna look awful but it's too god damn fucking hot here not to wear them. Later this eve there's an open mic even on main street (another 1.6km) then a house party/pregaming before the social. Then of course the social! I am going to dance my pants off!!! Hopefully literally. I'm not going to bother plugging it all in my "activ trainer" thingy-majigger where I log all of my couch to 5k stuff. ... although now I'm kind of curious as to how many calories I will be burn. The run/walk will surely offset the calories I am about to drink tonight. Although the limited calories thing pretty much ensures I'm drunk after 3-4 drinks. :D Yesterday I had a beer with dinner and I almost felt like I shouldn't have been driving. I wouldn't have blown over, but  still I was tipsy.

Alright, piercing news. I settled on an industrial:

 

Pardon the swelling and redness. This is literally 3-4 hours after it was done.

Much later in the day

Ooo. Exciting development.  So this guy that I dated in high school is in a band, we shall dub him sax guy. And I always have these fucking sex dreams about him.... I know I've mentioned them on here. Well guess whose band is playing tonight at the fish fry? Of course his! And who sent me their cell number on facebook? Of course he did. And who has been innocently texting me? Of course he has. Nothing funny, just friendly hello's and where is the venue lol. When I told him I had to go shower he said "cute". Meh. Maybe it will happen, maybe it wont..

THE MORNING AFTER 180.5!! After eating breakfast and drinking a large amount of water: (very wordy story here.. this might bore you.... also very sexually explicit. Soooo if that bothers you, just stop reading now)

Well that was fun!  I showed up at the social and highschool-college-boyfriend aka sax guy (when we dated he was in college and i was in high school) was playing on stage with his band . i should mention that I also dated the drummer in high school. Kinda weird that they ended up in a band together like 6 years later... and neither of them knew i dated the other until last night haha. So I get there and sax guy gives me a hug and tells me I look awesome, just the same as in high school. :D Seee I really am at my high school weight. Then drummer guy sees me and is all "wow, you look awesome". So the whole band basically tries to chat me up whenever sax guy has to go get something. hahaha. Cute. Anywho. So we sit and drink some beer, and we flirt. We sit reeeeally close to each other. He holds my hand as we navigate the dance floor filled with drunks. They decide to pack up and go back to the hotel, me being the AWESOME COOL CHICK i am, i help with the loading up. Then of course sax guy asks if I'm coming with. Of course I am!! The very back of the van is filled with pillows, because apparently they always forget pillows on tour, and everyone brought 5 lol. So I ride in the back with sax guy. I'm preeeeetty tipsy at this point, but that did not stop sax guy from buying a case of beer when we got back to the hotel. We watch half of some documentary about a punk band, and drink beer, the whole band and i. Then suddenly everyone is going to bed. :) And oh boy do I get really great snuggles! i feel so small with his hands roaming my body. in the morning when we're both sober, that's when the fun begins. ;) massages and strategic snuggling of the sexy variety, petting, kissing. Mmmmm.  Sax guy chuckles at the irony that 8 or 9 years later, we're in this situation that never arose when we did date. I ask him if he usually brings strange girls home after a show? He replies I'm not a stranger, and no. After our showers, and while his roomie is showering, we make out, he fingers me. (memories of high school... i'm pretty sure he was the first person to finger me, but that only happened once or twice) I am all over that like some animal moaning and devouring his kisses. I can't get enough, but roomie is a quick shower-er. "This is just a taste" he says (sax guy) I'm left all slippery and flushed. Breakfast? of course i'll have breakfast! I'm not sure what the protocol is, did I just outstay my welcome? Naw, sax guy and his roomie and i have pleasant conversation over breakfast, they charge it to the room. I depart after that saying it was really nice to catch up! He texts me when they leave suggesting I should drop him a line the next time I'm in Winnipeg. Which I shall do.... He was packing some SERIOUS heat. Like whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooa! Like, how did I not know this in high school? Oooo that's right, I had this mad case of phallophobia in high school.  Now I'm all in a daze. Best mood of my life! Great sleep, great sexy time, great (and free) breakfast.
 
K, just so we're clear these are the peeps I'm talking about (they did NOT look like this in high school lol):

Drummer guy

Sax guy

You may recognize them from a budweiser commercial during the superbowl? Lol. They're half famous.

Soooooooooooo... that was my weekend! Haha not too shabby if I do say so myself!
Sorry the post was so long, I hope I didn't bore anyone.

XOXO Nessa

3 more pounds before I see muscles. :)