Day 2 success

7 days until my boyfriend comes home

I should mention my weight for the purposes of this weeks food allowance.
Yesterday - 193.8 (I wanted to cry or hurl myself off a bridge) Weight taken naked first thing in the morning before I'd had any food/water
Today - 191.3 THANK THE LORD. And this was after I'd had my first meal replacement shake and not completely naked.

Tomorrow I'm hoping for 190 or lower. Then I only have to lose 3 pounds before he comes home... though I would like that number to be more like 7. If I can get below 188 I'm gold. I haven't been lower than that since the summer. Time for this 6 month plateau to end.

Today I've eaten:

B: 1 meal replacement shake
1 diet coke
L: 1 meal replacement shake
S: Giiiiiiiiiiiiant salad ... with feta and ceasar salad dressing... yeah i stretched that "fresh fruits and veggies only" to fit my needs.... and a big cup of cinnamon tea. (took 3 laxatives after the salad... nothing is happening though... i feel like i should take a few more. If nothing happens by the morning I'll take a couple more) I took 3 more...
I might have an apple and some tea tonight as a snack. Round it out. Scratch that. just the tea please. I'm going to hole myself up in his room until I fall asleep. I've let the big dog out. She should be good to go for the morning. The little dog... well fuck it. She annoys me. If she pees on the floor I don't care.

Did pilates this morning... shoveled the side walk for extra exercise.. not because it needed it.

Gah. This is stupid. I am having a really hard time not talking to Billy today.... :( Pretty sure I love him... and I think i need to just say it already. Way to go stupid... realizing 2 days into his trip, when there are 7days left to stew about it. I hope he misses me too and would really like it if he would say it first...  but i have no idea... because I'm a stupid girl with self image issues. Fuck if he doesn't text me for half a day because he's busy at work, i worry he's going to dump me. Although, when I think logically... he bought me mukluks for Christmas..... they're like $369... WHAAAT. Here's the link to the exact pair I got  (the black ones)---> CLICK ME BITCHEZ!!
Ok. I'm not worried for the time being.

Ooo. In more exciting/positive news. Billy's friend Tim and his wife Hollee and I are going to all try to lose 10 pounds in January... they don't know how sneaky I am though (provided my old methods prove true). I feel like the pilates is helping already. It was hard to do this morning because my abs hurt so much. Maybe tomorrow I'll take my $369 shoes for a walk. Well I have to according to my plan... Anywho. I need to be less fat! Like NOW!!! I want to be slim and svelte and beautiful and able to wear whatever I want. By this summer I WILL BE A SIZE 10!!! Fuck I will not spend another summer avoiding public beaches, especially when there are so many so close to me now.

Let's do this ladies.
"Dreams are only dreams until you work hard to make them a reality."